


enough

by maddycakepaddycake



Series: jasits side stories [2]
Category: Just Another Star In the Sky - Original Work
Genre: But He Doesn't Realize It, Childhood Friends, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Making Out, Pining, Slow Burn, Sventi is oblivious, Talik is so screwed, a tiny bit of - Freeform, and also hella gay, and hella gay, damn there's a lot of pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 08:43:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10081934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maddycakepaddycake/pseuds/maddycakepaddycake
Summary: Talik often wonders what he did to deserve this. Yes, he’s about to embark on a journey to Xetra, a planet he’s always wanted to explore. Yes, he’s pretty much living out his dream. But why did it have to come with a downside?orTalik is hella gay and Sventi is completely oblivious





	

**Author's Note:**

> oh god this is a mess  
> okay so this is a sventali side story i wrote for my friend's book, and therefore NONE OF THE CHARACTERS BELONG TO ME  
> go read it here:  
> https://www.wattpad.com/story/88550282-just-another-star-in-the-sky  
> i apologize that the characters use human references, i am not creative enough to make up words for every human item i reference here and i don't want to constantly bother my friend for words

Talik often wonders what he did to deserve this. Yes, he’s about to embark on a journey to Xetra, a planet he’s always wanted to explore. Yes, he’s pretty much living out his dream. But why did it have to come with a downside?

 

A hand waving in front of his face distracts him from his pity party.

 

“Hey, Tali! Taaaaliiii! Are you even listening to me?”

 

Right. There’s the downside. Unfortunately for Talik, said downside is an annoyingly, unfairly attractive individual named Sventi. Tall, broad, and muscular with hair like a fiery nebula and light brown eyes like a one of those four-limbed Xetran animals Zyke was telling the crew about that make some sort of calcium-rich liquid and sound like ‘moo’. What were they called? Coows? Talik isn’t sure, he wasn’t really listening to Zyke. He was more occupied by the way Sventi laughed when Zyke imitated the sound of a ‘Coow’.

 

“Yo, flower boy!”

 

That snaps him out of his thoughts. “What? And for the last time, don’t call me that!”

 

Sventi grins. “But it’s so accurate! You know, the hot pink hair, the green vest. Don’t tell me you don’t look like a flower!”

 

Talik runs a hand through his messy hair self-consciously, trying not to blush at the nickname. He’s going to kill the research team that made them read up on Xetran vegetation. He’s also going to kill the little voice in his head that’s screaming over the fact that Sventi just indirectly called him pretty. He doesn’t think Sventi even realized the implications of his words. “At least my head doesn’t look like it’s on fire!”

 

“Your face looks like that though,” Syla mutters behind him as the crew walks down the hallway towards the doctor’s station for a final check-up before their journey. Talik sends a warning glare over his shoulder at her, picking up his pace to get ahead of the rest of the group.

 

“Aww, c’mon, you know you love it!” Sventi says with a wink.

 

Talik turns his head away to hide his definitely bright red face (“Told you so,” comes the snicker from behind him). _I really do. And not just your hair, I love_ _you_ _,_ he wants to say.

 

Instead, he says, “In your dreams.”

 

Sventi just laughs and slings an arm around his shoulder. Sometimes, Talik wishes Sventi wasn’t such tactile person because secretly, he craves Sventi’s touch. The worst part is that Sventi gives it to him. But not in the way Talik really wants. Because in what universe would Sventi look at him like that? He’d be uncomfortable, and Talik would lose the best thing that’s ever happened to him. No, he’d take the little things he can get and be happy with the fact that he’s still a part of Sventi’s life.

 

“I can hear you thinking too hard, Tali,” Sventi says with a smirk.

 

“...How can you even tell?” Talik mumbles, too caught up in his head to come up with a better rebuttal.

 

“I’ve known you since we were kids, how could I not?”

 

“You know, sometimes I wonder how I’m still sane. I mean, what person in their right mind can deal with you for nearly thirteen years?”

 

“Taliiiiiii, that’s so mean! How come you’re not mean to them?!” Sventi whines, waving a hand behind him.

 

A smile pulls at Talik’s lips. “Because they’re not annoying.”

 

Syla snorts behind them as they reach the doctor’s station.

 

“...Well, not all of them.”

 

Syla chooses that moment to throw her arms around Talik’s neck, shoving Sventi out of the way. “I love you too, Talik!”

 

Talik glares at her and tries to shove her off, yelling variations of “get off me” over Sventi’s laughter. The idle chatting of the rest of the crew is drowned out by Syla’s high-pitched squealing and Sventi’s mesmerizing laugh. Through the commotion, someone clears their throat behind them. All three freeze, turning around slowly with matching terrified expressions.

 

“You’re blocking the door,” says Lienza, a stern expression on her face.

 

Syla releases her death grip on Talik like his skin is suddenly burning hot, and Sventi wrangles his face into a blank expression. Talik dusts himself off and shoots an apologetic look at Lienza.

 

The purple-haired mission leader rolls her eyes. “The door?”

  
All three scramble to get out of the doorway. Lienza sweeps past them into the medical station, followed by a silent Yeshi. As soon as they disappear into the office, Syla, Sventi, and Talik let out a relieved sigh.

 

Syla wipes the nervous sweat from her forehead. “Oh jeez, that was scary!”

 

“Man,” Zyke says, grinning amusedly. “I’m so used to being on the receiving end of Ice Queen’s glare, I’d forgotten what it looks like from the perspective of an innocent bystander!”

 

Veztsle scoffs. “Innocent? You? I don’t think so, Mr. Prankster. I saw you sneak that little metal thing into her boots.”

 

Zyke glares at her. “Curse you and your freakishly observant eyes.”

 

Vezstle shrugs. “Can’t change my star sign. I was born this way.”

 

Sventi looks impressed. “You really did it then?”

 

Zyke puts his hand over his chest and in an effort to look hurt. The effect is ruined by the shit-eating grin on his face. “You doubted my resolve?”

 

“Nah, bro. I always knew you were a ride-or-die type of guy,” Sventi grins.

 

“...Bro,” Zyke says, wiping a fake tear from his eye and raising his fist.

 

“Bro,” Sventi replies, hitting Zyke’s fist with his own.

 

Talik feels a bitter pulse of jealousy in his chest. Then he crushes it, because that’s ridiculous. Zyke and Sventi have never had anything but a brotherly relationship. He scoffs inwardly for being jealous of _Zyke_ of all people. Sure, they’re close, but no where near as close as Talik and Sventi. _Pathetic,_ he scolds himself.

 

Lienza’s voice rings out from in the station. “Are you guys coming, or not?”

 

All five of them jump to attention. “Coming!”

 

\---

 

He’s not really sure when it started. It’s impossible to pinpoint when exactly he fell. Maybe he’s loved him forever, he just hadn’t realized it until six years after they met. Sventi’s been there for almost as long as he can remember. Some of his earliest memories are of the two of them playing outside in the cold Leclexdian air, holding hands and laughing before Talik was old enough to be embarrassed about it, gliding over the frozen surface of the rivers that twisted through the air.

 

They’ve known each other for almost fourteen years now. That’s almost seventy-five percent of Talik’s life spent with the shining fireball of a boy that lights up his world like a star at the center of a solar system.

 

That’s what Sventi is: bright, radiant, and impossible to live without, with a gravity that’s always pulling Talik in, over and over, no matter how many times he tried to escape. Not that he wants to, of course - he can’t imagine a life without Sventi in it. Maybe that’s why Talik has never been able to shake his feelings for him. Every minute he spends with him makes him fall a little deeper, a little farther past the point of no return.

 

He laughs bitterly at himself then, because who is he kidding? He left the point of no return far behind before he even knew what that point was.

 

\---

 

This is it. This is what the last four years has been leading up to. This is what he wants. This is what he’s worked for. He loves Leclexda, but he's always wanted to explore the universe. So why is he so nervous? He shouldn’t be. He knows he got chosen to go on this mission for a reason. But two and a half years is a long time. What if the exploration program changes its mind? What if they realize how useless Talik is and send someone out in his place? There are plenty of alternates at the academy better than him that could easily replace him.

 

None of the rest of the crew notices, thankfully. Talik is skilled at hiding his real feelings. He doesn’t want to worry them, and he can deal with this on his own. He’s fine on his own. He doesn’t need any help. He plasters a blank look on his face. He’s just got to supress his anxiety as usual. He can do this.

 

He tries, he really does. But it’s not enough. _He’s_ not enough. What use is he on a mission if he can’t even control his own fears?

 

“Tali?” a soft voice to his left murmurs. Talik wants to answer, wants to reassure Sventi that he’s fine, that nothing’s wrong. But he can’t move, he can’t breathe, he can’t see, he can’t, he _can’t_ -

 

Through his haze of panic, he vaguely feels Sventi’s hand on his arm, hears him make hasty excuses to the crew before tugging him towards an empty briefing room to the right of the ship’s landing pad.

 

“Tali, hey,” Sventi says quietly, maneuvering Talik so he’s resting with his back against a wall. He puts his hands on his shoulders, rubbing reassuring circles with his thumbs into his dark skin. Talik stares at him with blank eyes, still trapped in the cage of his mind.

 

“You’re okay,” he says in a sure voice. “You can do this. Just look at me.”

 

Slowly, with the assistance of Sventi’s encouragements, Talik takes a shuddering breath. When his vision clears, he sees Sventi’s tawny brown eyes gleaming with worry. That sends every thought in his head to a screeching halt. The blank look melts off his face. Lip quivering, he drops his head onto Sventi’s shoulder. Sventi just shifts to make himself more comfortable, gathering Talik into his arms and simply holding him.

 

They stay like that for a while, saying nothing, just breathing.

 

“...I’m sorry,” Talik apologizes shakily.

 

“You have nothing to apologize for, Tali,” Sventi murmurs into Talik’s hair.

 

“I made you worry,” Talik corrects him, stubbornly keeping his face buried in Sventi’s neck, despite Sventi’s attempts to lift his face so he can see him.

 

“True. I almost panicked for a second there. But what kind of best friend would I be if I didn’t?”

 

“Probably one with more brain cells. You need all the help you can get just to function on a daily basis.”

 

Sventi grins down at him. “You’re back then, huh, flower boy?”

 

“Shut up, dimwit,” Talik grumbles, extricating himself from Sventi. There’s no real bite behind it, and his tone is betrayed by the small but genuine smile on his lips. He stands up and brushes himself off, offering a hand to Sventi. He accepts it, straightening up and walking towards the door, Talik in tow. When they step back into the takeoff zone, the ceiling of the hangar is already open, revealing the swirling patterns of their galaxy.

 

“Oh good, you’re back,” Lienza says without even looking at them, tapping away at a holographic display showing statuses of the takeoff equipment. “Just in time. We’re about to do final examination.” She glances at them, eyeing their still-joined hands. Talik realizes with a start that he never let go of Sventi’s hand. He drops it quickly, averting his eyes. He feels a hot flush crawl up his face. _Damn it._

 

“Don’t run off like that before boarding procedures again,” Lienza scolds.

 

Sventi smirks and raises his hand in a mock salute. “Aye aye, captain!”

 

Lienza throws a dirty look at him and resumes her task. Talik rolls his eyes and walks towards the entry hatch of the ship, Sventi trailing behind him. They board, parting ways at the control room, Sventi going to do a final check on the energy cells, Talik heading towards the tech room to inspect their translation masks.

 

When he opens the door to the tech room, he is immediately greeted by a mischievous snicker and a head of bubblegum pink hair.

 

“So,” Syla drawls, wiggling her eyebrows. “What was that about?”

 

Talik groans.

 

\---

 

Sventi is extremely grateful for the exercise room. Not surprising, really, given his star sign. He’s sent several transmissions to mission control since they left Leclexda, thanking the director and the ship designers for the added room. Talik tells him later that the addition was necessary not just for him, it’s so the crew’s muscle tissue doesn’t deteriorate during the two and a half year travel time to get from Leclexda to Xetra. Sventi doesn’t really care and thanks them anyways. Talik rolls his eyes with exasperated fondness.

 

It’s late in the day and he's running uphill laps in the simulation pod with the gravity setting turned up to twice Leclexda’s gravity when he hears a knock on the glass walls of the sphere. He turns his head, seeing a flash of hot pink as he speeds by. He slows down, coming to a stop and reverting the pod’s settings to neutral. Wiping sweat off his forehead, he grabs his discarded shirt and jacket and presses the button to open the pod’s hatch. He’s greeted by a slight frown as he steps out into the cool air of the exercise room. That could mean two things; one, Talik is annoyed at him, or two, he’s annoyed at one of the other Razis.

 

“Yo, Tali!”

 

“Hey, Sventi,” Talik acknowledges, expression softening slightly.

 

Good, it’s option two.

 

Sventi grins knowingly. “Who was it this time?”

 

Talik grimaces. “Zyke.”

 

“What’d he do?”

 

“He’s calling a crew meeting. Says it’s urgent. Wouldn’t tell any of us what it was about. He sent me to come get you, yelling something about how I was the only one that could pull you out of that pod.”

 

Sventi reaches up and slaps the side of the simulation pod fondly. “He may be right.”

 

Talik rolls his eyes. “I swear, you’re going to marry that thing some day.”

 

He shrugs. “Well you know what they say, you haven’t lived until you’ve dated an inanimate object.”

 

“No one says that,” Talik deadpans.

 

He spreads his arms with a grin. “Hey, Zyke’s dating his comm device.”

 

Talik scrunches his nose. “I honestly don’t know what he’s doing on that thing all day.”

 

“Looking up random stuff about Xetran culture, probably. And he’s hooked it up to the social media system back home. He’s been taking random pictures of himself and posting them to the feed. Calls them ‘selfies’, apparently it’s a Xetran tradition.”

 

“I’m not even going to question it anymore,” Talik says with a defeated sigh.

 

Sventi chuckles and reaches over to ruffle his hair. Talik tries to duck away with little success. “Aww, cute little tiny flower boy!”

 

Talik glares at him. “I’m only seven centimeters shorter than you!”

 

Sventi grins. He forgot to correct him on the ‘flower boy’.

 

“That’s seven centimeters I can use to my advantage.”

 

In truth, Talik isn’t that short. Sventi is by no means short, so seven centimeters shorter is still pretty tall. Nevertheless, Sventi never lets him forget it.

 

“Tch. I was taller than you in our first year of pre-academy.”

 

“That was just luck. You hit your growth spurt first.”

 

“Whatever! I’m not short!” Talik is sporting his cute I’m-embarrassed-but-covering-it-up -with-anger expression. His brow furrows a little, his nose scrunches up, and his plump lips turn downward in this adorable little pout. Sventi laughs, pulling him against his bare chest in a headlock and ruffles his hair again. He can’t help it, Talik’s hair is just so soft. Talik glares at him again, but leans into his touch anyways. After a few seconds, he realizes that Sventi is still sweaty from his round in the sim pod and shoves him away, blushing furiously.

 

“Put a shirt on and lets go!” he commands in a slightly higher-pitched voice than usual, turning and stomping towards the door.

 

“Okay, okay,” Sventi chuckles, pulling his plum muscle tank over his head and throwing his dark gray jacket over a shoulder. He runs a hand through his sweat-dampened hair before running to catch up with Talik. They head towards the common room, Talik’s face still reddened.

 

“What do you wanna bet Zyke just wants to obsess over some random aspect of Xetran culture?”

 

“I’m not betting against you Sventi, both of us know that’s exactly what he wants.”

 

“Okay, true. I wonder what he’s found out this time.”

 

“Ugh,” Talik groans. “Hopefully nothing on human waste habits.”

 

“Oh, yeah! What was he rambling about last time? Sewers and cesspools?”

 

“Eww, don’t even remind me. I don’t need to remember that.”

 

“Hey, what if you go to Xetra and your cover story is that you work in a sewage treatment plant?” Sventi queries with an amused look.

 

“Crawl in a hole and die.” Talik answers as they walk down the last hallway before the common room. Through the open entrance, they can see the rest of the crew sprawled out on the furniture around the table. Lienza is situated upright with her back as stick-straight (proper posture as always) on an armchair, Yeshi sitting quietly on the floor in front of her, legs tucked under her. Syla and Zyke are draped across the couch lazily, Veztsle in the adjacent armchair, Syla’s legs stretched across the gap between the two sofas in order to rest her feet in Veztsle’s lap. She's ranting about something, gesticulating wildly with her hands.

 

“-and he can't even fathom the fact that it could work out! I swear, he's a masochist or something! They're almost as bad as Uvi and Reyno from the communications department! At least they got their shit together after a few months, this has been going on for years! And-”

 

Zyke nudges Syla with his elbow as Talik and Sventi enter the common room, cutting her off.

 

“Hey Sventi, Talik!” Zyke exclaims in a cheery voice. “What took you so long?”

 

“Flower boy here was denying his shortness.”

 

“Oi!”

 

“Don't you even complain about being short, Talik,” Syla grumbles with what looks like an attempt at an unamused expression, marred by the laughter behind her tone.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Who were you talking about?” Talik inquires.

 

Syla gives Talik a pointed look. He seems to realize who it was and red flush rises to his face.

 

“Tali, who is it? You know who it is, don’t you?”

 

“No, I have no idea who they’re talking about.”

 

Sventi instantly knows that’s a lie in the way a small hint of nervousness (he thinks he sees another emotion, but it must’ve been his imagination) flashes in his chocolate-brown eyes. He’s sure Talik knows that he knows as well. He decides not to point it out, though.

 

“I have to know who it is! This is good gossip, who could possibly be worse than Uvi and Reyno?”

 

Zyke and Syla look like they’re about to either burst out laughing or tear their hair out. Veztsle gives Sventi a sympathetic look. Lienza rolls her eyes, and Yeshi is silent, as usual.

 

“Ugh, guys, seriously! This is crucial!”

 

“I’ll tell you later, bro,” Zyke consoles him. “But right now, I have a very important announcement!”

 

“Here we go,” Talik mutters under his breath as he and Sventi settle on the loveseat beside Lienza and Yeshi, across from Zyke and Syla.

 

“We’re going to have a game night!”

 

“...A what?” Veztsle questions.

 

“A game night! I was reading about what humans typically do at their parties because I was thinking we could throw one-”

 

“Not on my watch,” Lienza interrupts sternly. Zyke ignores her.

 

“-and I discovered that they play these things called ‘party games’. There’s a lot of them! So I was thinking we could play some of them as a team bonding exercise!”

 

“Team bonding,” Talik says skeptically.

 

“Yeah, team bonding!”

 

“I’m in! This sounds awesome!” Sventi exclaims. Zyke leaps over the coffee table for a fist bump. Lienza rolls her eyes again (Seriously, her eyes are going to fall out and roll away).

 

“I don’t know…” Talik says slowly. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

 

“C’mon Talik! Live a little!” Syla encourages.

 

“Yeah, besides, it won’t be fun without you!” Sventi adds. He can see Talik’s resolve break and the tips of his ears go red. He looks away with a sigh.

 

“...Fine.”

 

“I think we should try it,” Veztsle says, curiosity glimmering in her green eyes.

 

“Lienza? Yeshi?” Zyke asks.

 

Yeshi shrugs noncommittally, fiddling with a string on the carpet beneath her.

 

“I’ll take that as a yes. Lienza?”

 

Lienza looks skeptical. “This sounds like a bad idea.”

 

“C’mon, please?” Zyke pleads, giving her puppy dog eyes. Sventi can practically see gears turning in Lienza’s head. One part is looking at the situation logically and telling her saying yes is an unadvisable option. The other part is urging her to give her approval, because no matter how cold Lienza may seem, under all that ice she really wants to make her crew happy. And on top of that, Zyke is like a little brother to her.

 

Lienza sighs as if disappointed with herself. Zyke looks like he’s won something.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Yes!” Zyke cheers. “Thanks mom!”

 

Everyone goes silent.

 

Zyke’s triumphant smile melts off his face, replaced by an anxious look that suggests he thinks Lienza might change her mind. The rest of the crew looks at Lienza to gauge her reaction. She looks almost pleased, but frowns when she feels everyone’s eyes on her.

 

“...What?”

 

Syla bursts out laughing.

 

“L-Lienza! Y-You- Ha! You’re happy that Zyke c-called you mom!” she chokes through peels of laughter.

 

Lienza looks horrified, an extremely rare dusting of pink decorating her cheeks. “N-No I’m not!”

 

The rest of the crew joins Syla in a laughing fit at the look on Lienza’s face. Even Yeshi wears the slightest smile.

 

“Don’t lie to me, I can feel your emotions!” Syla wheezes, grabbing her stomach.

 

“I’m- I’m not! S-Stop laughing! It’s n-not funny!” Lienza stutters, her blush growing darker as Zyke falls off the couch, tears streaming from his eyes. The entire crew is laughing (except Lienza, obviously, and Yeshi, but her smile gets slightly wider). Sventi can’t believe it. The seven of them had all gone to the same academy in Eztrapol and were in the same class for their last year there before being assigned to their mission, and they’d called Lienza ‘mom’ before, just not to her face in fear of decapitation. He and Zyke had discussed what might happen if one of them slipped up, but he’d never imagined it’d turn out like this.

 

“Sh-Shut up! Let’s just play the party games or whatever!” Lienza sputters, glaring at them.

 

“Y-Yeah, let’s do that!” Zyke exclaims, wiping his eyes as he crawls back up on the couch. The laughter dies down gradually, and by the time it stops, Lienza looks slightly less embarrassed. She clears her throat.

 

“So, which of these ‘party games’ are we playing?”

 

Zyke grins devilishly. “Truth or Dare.”

 

“I like the sound of that,” Sventi grins.

 

“So what do we do?” asks Veztsle.

 

“Someone starts by asking someone else ‘truth or dare?’. The person asked has to choose either truth or dare. If they choose truth, the rest of us come up with a question to ask them, which they have to answer truthfully. If they choose dare, we come up with a dare that the person has to do. You can back out of a truth or a dare if you really want to, but you have to take an extra day of kitchen duty next week.”

 

“This is going to be awesome!” Sventi says excitedly.

 

“Right?!” Zyke exclaims.

 

Next to him, Talik feels as stiff as a board. Sventi glances at him. He’d look perfectly normal to anyone else, his face a mask of calm and a little tinge of intrigue. But when they make eye contact, he sees the underlying panic written all over his face. Sventi squeezes his shoulder in a wordless question neither of them need to articulate. Talik quickly averts his eyes and shakes his head.

 

“Okay, everybody got it?” Zyke asks.

 

“Yes, we understand,” Veztsle confirms.

 

“And keep the dares appropriate,” Lienza adds.

 

Zyke nods. “Right! I'll start! Lienza, truth or dare?”

 

“Dare,” Lienza answers.

 

Zyke is wearing his trademark up-to-no-good grin. “I dare you to let everyone call you mom for the rest of the game.”

 

The tips of Lienza’s ears go pink and she groans at the giggles of the group, but doesn't protest. “Fine.”

 

Zyke looks very pleased with himself.

 

“Good one!” Sventi says, grinning. The two of them high-five.

 

“Alright, mom’s turn!”

 

Lienza thinks for a moment. “Hmm. Veztsle, truth or dare?”

 

“Truth.”

 

“Have you had your first kiss?”

 

“Oooooooh, going straight for the juicy gossip!” Zyke crows.

 

Veztsle blushes. “N-No…”

 

“Aww, she's blushing!” Syla teases.

 

“Shut up Syla,” she shoots back. “Truth or dare?”

 

“Truth,” Syla replies.

 

“Tell us your most embarrassing story.”

 

Syla groans. “Ugh, noooooooo, Veztsle how could you?”

 

Veztsle grins mischievously. “Kitchen duty?”

 

“Ugh, fine. So there was this one time when I was younger and I didn't really know how to control my star sign ability. There was this one boy in my class that had a huuuuuge crush on a girl that sat next to me. One day, he was thinking about how much he loved her and wanted to kiss her, which was really weird for me, because I was going through puberty and my hormones were messed up and I'd never sensed a crush this massive before, just little bits of puppy love. Kinda creepy on the boy’s part really, I mean he was thinking about using tongue and we were only in pre-academy! He was probably like, thirteen. Anyways, so I was sensing his crush, and it was so powerful that I thought it was my feelings since usually other people’s feelings are more muted. I stood up in the middle of class, grabbed her, and kissed her. In front of the entire class. And on top of that, it was my first kiss, so I had no idea what I was doing. I basically smashed our faces together and slobbered all over her mouth. I ended up having to take her to the nurse’s office because I busted her lip. With my face.”

 

“Oh my god Syla, that's so embarrassing!” Zyke chortles. Sventi and Talik laugh, and Lienza cracks a smile. Yeshi looks faintly amused, and Veztsle looks proud of herself for making Syla tell the story. She probably knew it already, she and Syla were pretty good friends at the academy.

 

“Okaaaay, my turn. Talik, truth or dare?”

 

“...Dare,” he says, sounding a little frightened. He has that panicked look in his eyes again and Sventi nudges his knee with his own reassuringly. He shoots a look at Syla, silently begging her to not freak Talik out, even though he's not really sure what's bothering him.

 

“I dare you to put your head on Sventi's lap,” she says after a few moments of contemplation.

 

Talik’s dark skin takes on a hue that's a very similar shade to his hair.

 

“C’mon, Talik, it's not even that bad!” Syla whines, looking at the pair of them with an excited expression. Sventi doesn't know why, they do it a lot anyways. Not usually in front of the whole crew, but still, he's sure Syla could've come up with much worse. So he wraps an arm around Talik's shoulders and gently coaxes him into laying down with his head on his lap. Talik tries to sit up again, blushing and making noises of protest, but gives up when he realizes Sventi's not letting him go. He takes a moment to make sure Talik is comfortable with this. He’s stiff at first, but Sventi lowers his hand to card through his incredibly soft hair and he _melts_. Sventi smiles down at him fondly. He first found out about this when they were in pre-academy. Talik had come to class with dark circles under his eyes, having stayed up too late studying the night before. At lunch break, they went to the roof where it was quiet. Sventi berated him for overworking himself, then scooted over on the bench and patted his lap in invitation. Talik objected at first, but Sventi pulled him down anyways. While he was grumbling that he wasn't tired and that he was fine, Sventi had absentmindedly started petting his head, not really listening to his complaints. Talik had instantly gone silent. He'd stopped for a second to see if something was wrong, but Talik nuzzled into his hand and mumbled ‘don't stop’. It became a routine for them - whenever Talik was tired, all he had to say was ‘lap’ and Sventi would make room for him. He soon discovered that Talik loved being pet, loved when Sventi would run his hand through his hair and rub behind his ears. He’d even make a pleased humming sound sometimes. His best friend was so cute.

 

He looks up at a strangled squeal coming from the couch across from him. Syla looks absolutely ecstatic, and Zyke gives him a thumbs up while patting Syla on the head. Lienza is wearing a distinctly maternal expression, but upon noticing Sventi looking, she schools her face into her usual mask of cold indifference.

 

“Your turn, Talik,” she reminds him.

 

“Oh, yeah,” he says, sounding content. “Umm, Yeshi, truth or dare?”

 

“Truth,” comes the barely-audible reply.

 

“Okay, umm… where are you from?”

 

Sventi realizes that none of them really know much about Yeshi. Well, maybe Lienza knows more, but she's generally pretty secluded.

 

“...Cohrin,” she answers quietly.

 

“Oh, cool!” Zyke says excitedly. “I went there on vacation once! It was a really pretty town!”

 

Zyke blabbers on for a while about Cohrin. No one’s really paying attention. Sventi would be, but he's focused on Talik, who is making small contented noises as he massages his scalp. The only one really listening is, surprisingly, Yeshi. She nods in agreement every once in awhile and adds a few short comments of her own. Sventi thinks it's the most he's ever heard her talk.

 

“Oh, it's your turn Yeshi! I was rambling again wasn't I? Sorry!” Zyke apologizes.

 

“It's okay,” Yeshi assured him softly. “Sventi, truth or dare?”

 

“Dare,” he answers confidently.

 

“Kiss Talik,” she says bluntly.

 

Sventi feels Talik tense up. Syla is making that weird squealing noise again. Zyke is grinning ear to ear, and Veztsle smiles.

 

Lienza looks surprised at Yeshi’s forwardness. “Don't actually kiss him! Keep it PG!”

 

Sventi shrugs and leans down, pressing a soft kiss into Talik’s hair. He can't see Talik's face, but he's still tense, so he resumes petting him, brushing his thumb over the soft skin behind his ear, attempting to relieve the tension.

 

“My turn! Zyke, truth or dare?”

 

“Dare!” Zyke shouts enthusiastically.

 

Sventi grins. “Plan 027.”

 

Zyke looks surprised for a second, then smirks, reaching for something in his pocket. “Challenge accepted. Sorry, mom.”

 

Lienza immediately goes on guard. “What are you- Ha!” She slaps a hand over her mouth at the sudden laughter that escapes her. She's shaking with muffled laughter, her face slowly turning red from involuntary giggles and quite possibly rage. The crew starts cracking up for the second time that evening at Lienza’s expense.

 

“Wh- aha! What d-did- ha- you do?!” Lienza wheezes. “S-Some- ha- something’s tickling- ha! My foot!”

 

Zyke is too busy laughing to answer.

 

“I'll- ah! I’ll kill- ha! I’ll kill you!”

 

Yeshi calmly unties Lienza’s boot and pulls her foot out, removing a small, flat device that's vibrating erratically.

 

Lienza stands slowly, menacingly as the laughter peters out in the face of her the dark aura of rage emanating from her.

 

“Whoops,” Zyke chirps with a nervous smile. “Well, that's my cue. See ya!”

 

He vaults over the back of the couch and sprints down the hallway, Lienza hot on his heels (with only one boot) wielding threats of torture and slow, painful deaths. Syla and Veztsle crack up again. Yeshi simply stands and exits the common room in the direction of her quarters.

 

And in the middle of all the commotion, Talik has fallen asleep. Sventi chuckles and continues stroking his hair, content to just sit and let his best friend rest.

 

\---

 

He’s standing outside Sventi’s door in his pyjamas with his fist raised, poised to knock. He can do this. It’s just Sventi. Dorky, caring, hard working, incredibly hot Sventi. The one that let him lay on his lap, petted him (he curses himself for being weak and giving in to his cat-like tendencies), and kissed his head so gently that Talik though he might cry for an hour or laugh at his own flaming gayness. And then carried him to his room after he fell asleep, mentally exhausted and trying not to think about the way Sventi had kissed him until the morning. _It was just a dare,_ he reminds himself. _Sventi hates kitchen duty, there’s no way he’d back out of it. It meant nothing._

 

So why is he still blushing like a lovestruck schoolgirl? Good question. Why is he in love with Sventi in the first place?

 

_Ah, the mysteries of life._

 

Talik shakes his head and slaps himself for good measure. This is his best friend in the whole universe. And he’ll be damned if he lets his stupid feelings get in the way. He hums a tune - eight note G, half note A, half B, half C, triplet quarter D, E and F, half E, half D, half C. Most best friends have a secret knock or something, but Talik was (still is) a music nerd, so they used a melody from a song they wrote together years ago instead. Despite Sventi’s actuliv sign giving him enhanced athletic abilities, not musical prowess like Talik’s thesic sign, he’s actually surprisingly good at the kytsoo, coaxing sweet melodies from the instrument as his calloused fingers strum at the strings. Talik could probably mentally wax poetic about Sventi forever, but is interrupted by the pounding of feet running up to the door.

 

Sventi throws it open as Talik hums the last note with a wide grin on his face, pulling him inside by his arm. “Movie night!”

 

Talik smiles at him and nods, ignoring how Sventi’s grin makes his heart flutter. He definitely doesn’t notice the way his sweatpants are hanging low on his hips and how his old t-shirt rides up as he tugs Talik towards his bed. “Movie night.”

 

He settles on the bed where Sventi’s commandeered a laptop from the tech room. “What are we watching?”

 

Sventi throws a mini cloud cake in a package at him as he crawls onto the bed to join him. Talik smiles. Of course he got him his favorite food (he internally groans at how _perfect_ Sventi is). “I was thinking we could watch a human movie since we’re going to Xetra!”

 

Talik wrinkles his nose. “Zyke’s been rubbing off on you…”

 

“Maybe a little. It’s called _Pacific Rim_.”

 

He grins and fluffs the pillow behind him, motioning for Talik to occupy the space beside him. He complies, scooting over and trying very hard not to tense when Sventi reaches over him to grab the laptop. When he leans back to his original spot, their legs are touching, which Talik pointedly ignores in favor of asking Sventi what the movie’s about.

 

“I think it’s about aliens.”

 

“Aliens? So, us?”

 

“Well, no, since we aren’t going to Xetra to destroy it.”

 

“Destruction? I love this movie already.”

 

Talik reaches up to the slider attached to the headboard of the bed, dimming the lights so the laptop is the brightest thing in the room. He opens his cloud cake and pops it into his mouth, leaning back into the pillows, grateful for the massive pile of them that Sventi has accumulated for him (he loves pillows, mostly because they used to build forts with them). Sventi puts the data chip for the movie (“I had Zyke get it off the research team yesterday,”) and starts it.

 

Talik denies it later when Syla is interrogating him, but he’s not really watching the movie. He’s paying more attention to the way the light from the screen highlights his strong jawline and his muscular arms. He quickly averts his eyes back to the movie whenever Sventi glances at him. It’s a good thing he’s good that multitasking (he can play eight instruments at once and sing at the same time) or he would have no clue what Sventi’s talking about when he asks him about the movie. He misses some details, but it’s still impressive that he can understand the plotline (which consists of a lot of explosions and giant robots) while Sventi’s shirt has ridden up to expose a strip of his well-defined abs. Good lord, he is so gay.

 

 _No,_ he reprimands himself. _Reality check. State the facts. Sventi deserves better than you. He could have anyone, why would he choose you? And it’s not like he’s ever considered it anyways._

 

He feels relieved in a sick sort of way that makes him smile hollowly for a moment, hoping Sventi won’t notice.

 

He notices. (He always does.)

 

“Tali, what’s wrong?”

 

Tali quickly kills his self-deprecating smile/grimace and replaces it with a faux-curious look that he knows won’t work. “Nothing. Why?” Sventi can see right through him.

 

He frowns slightly and pauses the movie. “You’ve got that look on your face again. The one that you have whenever you’re putting yourself down.”

 

_Damn it. Why can he read me so well?_

 

Talik plasters on a look of annoyance. “Were you watching me? I don’t really like being stared at, you know.”

 

_Actually, I love it when it’s you._

 

Sventi’s frown deepens a little. “C’mon Tali, you’re not fooling me.” It softens, though as he says, “You don’t have to, but you know you can tell me anything, right?”

 

Talik sighs resignedly and drops the act. “...Yeah. Yeah, I know. I’m sorry, I just… can’t right now.” He hopes Sventi will let it go.

 

“That’s fine. Whenever you’re ready.” He’s always like that, never pushing unless he needs to.

 

He resumes the movie. Talik relaxes, having dodged a bullet for now. He knows Sventi will ask him about it later, but he can’t quite bring himself to care. Not when he feels so warm and safe next to his best friend, despite his thoughts whispering insults at him. Maybe that’s why he allows himself to drift off into the twilight zone. Except, he forgot something. Sventi, being the little shit he is, loves waking him up by tickling him. And even if he let him sleep after Zyke’s little game thing, he won’t pass up the chance to punish him for falling asleep during their weekly movie night.

 

So he wakes up to a poke in the ribs with a yelp.

 

“Oi! I was sleeping!”

 

“Not anymore,” Sventi grins. “You fell asleep in the middle of a perfectly good movie, _and_ drooled on my shoulder, so this is compensation!”

 

He tackles Talik, jabbing at his ribs and brushing his fingers over his bare feet. Talik is, unfortunately, extremely ticklish (which annoys him to no end). And on top of that, Sventi knows all of his most ticklish spots, having had years to figure them out.

 

“St- Ah! Sto- Ha! St-stop it! Aha- no! Would- ah! C-Cut it out! Ah- aha! Sv- Sventi! Ha!” Talik sputters through his torture. Sventi laughs at his pain (that little piece of crap) and shifts to reach a spot on his neck. Talik is flushed bright red, he knows it, his chest heaving and his eyes squeezed shut. He gasps, and suddenly Sventi stops. He has no idea why, but takes his chance to regain his breath. Then he opens his eyes.

 

Sventi is watching him with a gentle smile as he looms over him. His walnut eyes are full of fondness as he looks at the boy trapped between his arms, and Talik’s heart swells with how much he loves him. He lets himself hope for a just a moment, lets himself believe Sventi loves him back, that he’s enough. Unconsciously, he leans upwards, their lips so close together that they’re breathing the same air. Just for a moment, a sweet moment that makes him feel like he could fly. But he is Icarus, and Sventi is the sun.

 

His mind catches up to him and he comes crashing down. He pushes Sventi off, terrified of what he almost just did, what he nearly ruined.

 

_You can’t, you’ll screw it up, he deserves better, just leave, go away, he’s better off without you and your problems, just leave, run like the coward you are-_

 

He runs.

 

\---

 

Sventi is really, really confused. And worried. His best friend had been oddly distant ever since last night. Sventi had just woken Talik up by tickling him, but he does that all the time, so it couldn’t be that. But there was a moment, when Sventi had stopped tickling him and was just watching him, loving how he looked while laughing uncontrollably, where something had been wrong. For a split second before he fled the room, his eyes were full of fear, pain, and… something else. He wasn’t sure what that something else was, but he’d seen it before, a fleeting, unrecognizable emotion that would be there one second and gone the next, so quick that he’d question if it was even there at all.

 

Talik wasn’t too different, but something about him seemed subdued. He acted as he always did, sassy and dismissive with Sventi, annoyed at Syla, a little more reserved around the others. No one else noticed anything, but after more than half his life spent with him, he knew something was wrong. Sventi had resolved to ask him about it later, but he never got the chance. By coincidence or by design, they were never alone in the same room together. And he wasn’t about to go and confront him in front of the others - something was clearly bothering him and he knows his best friend well enough to know he wouldn’t appreciate him bringing it to the others’ attention.

 

He told himself it was just a coincidence and decided to ask him the next day. But throughout the entire week, he could never get Talik alone. He was still acting like everything was normal, but he wouldn’t accept any of Sventi’s invitations to hang out, or practice the songs they wrote together, or work out with him (he could understand that one though, Talik is the only one who can keep up with him, but even he gets tired). He’d still join in for group activities they did as a crew (Zyke continued his game night tradition, producing Xetran card and board games. No one knew where he got them) and the two of them still hung out regularly, but there was always a third party; either Zyke, Syla, Vezstle, or a combination of the three. It was really starting to unnerve him.

 

He finally manages to corner him at the end of the week. At this point, he feels like he might go crazy from this weird detachment. He’s come up with a couple possible reasons for Talik’s strange behavior; he’s feeling like he’s not good enough, he’s done something embarrassing that he doesn’t want Sventi to know about, he’s uncomfortable about whatever it was that happened on their movie night, or Sventi has forgotten to shower for the past week.

 

He highly doubts it’s the last one, since the rest of the crew has said nothing. He knows he’s forgetful sometimes, but he’s not _that_ bad.

 

So he waits until after their end-of-week crew meeting. Usually they’d walk together since their rooms are in the same direction, but all week Talik has been working at night (he has to go input another language into the translation masks, he’s going to help Lienza write the daily report for headquarters, don’t wait up), so he hasn’t been in his room. This time, he does the same thing.

 

“I have to go run the system diagnostics before bed.”

 

Sventi frowns. He can see the beginnings of Talik overworking himself a mile away. His eyes are dull, and his shoulders are hunched slightly. It hasn’t gotten too far yet, but Sventi is not about to let it get any farther.

 

“No, you’re not.”

 

Talik’s eyes flick over to him. His mouth takes on a downward tilt. “Yes, I am, it’s my turn tonight, dummy.”

 

“You took Zyke’s turn last night, so it’s someone else’s turn,” Sventi retorts, his usual joking manner replaced by a stern tone. The rest of the crew save for Yeshi is watching their disagreement like a pinci game, their eyes darting back and forth between the two best friends.

 

“I took his because he was too tired after staying up all night researching Xetran funeral customs.” Talik says.

 

“Well, now he’s feeling fine, so he can take your turn to make up for it,” he replies, turning to look at Zyke. “Right?” he pleads his friend with his eyes.

 

“Uh, yeah!” Zyke confirms hurriedly. “Sure thing. Go to sleep early tonight, flower boy.”

 

Talik glares at him. “Don’t call me that.”

 

“Why not? You let Sventi do it.”

 

“I do not!”

 

“Boyfriend privileges,” Syla mutters to Zyke with a smug smirk, just loud enough so Talik can hear, but too quiet for Sventi. Zyke snickers.

 

“I hate you both,” Talik hisses, pinning them with a death stare. The effect is sort of ruined by the high blush on his cheeks, but it works well enough.

 

Zyke raises his hands in surrender. “Alright, alright.”

 

Lienza rolls her eyes, having heard Syla’s comment. “Sventi’s right, Talik. You should get to bed, you’ve been working hard all week.”

 

“Yep, that’s a good idea. I’ll walk you if you want,” Veztsle offers.

 

“I’ll do it, my room is that way anyways,” Sventi volunteers, voice firm, leaving no room for argument. Talik’s face betrays nothing, but the corners of his eyes tighten for a fraction of a second.

 

Lienza nods her approval. “Rest up, Talik.”

 

He sighs. “Fine, come on Sventi. Good night, you guys.”

 

Sventi follows him to the exit, a chorus of ‘goodnight’ s and ‘see you tomorrow’ s following them (accompanied by a wolf whistle from Zyke, he’s not really sure why). They walk in silence for a couple minutes as he observes Talik. His best friend is definitely tired, and he curses himself for letting this go on for an entire week. His eyes are glued to the floor, resolutely not making eye contact with him. For the billionth time that week, he wonders what’s wrong. And so he jumps straight to the point, punching a hole through the tense silence pervading the air.

 

“Why have you been avoiding me?”

 

“I haven’t,” he denies (predictably), though he doesn’t seem particularly surprised.

 

“Don’t give me that shit, Tali, you’ve been avoiding me and you know it,” Sventi counters, surprised at the anger and hurt in his own voice. He hadn’t meant for it to come out like that, but he’s been frustrated and upset for a week and wants to know why.

 

Talik obviously picks up on it, as he flinches and says, “I’m sorry. I’ve been busy perfecting the translation systems in our masks, and-”

 

“You’re lying again. You’ve been purposely looking for something to do, anything so you won’t have to be alone in a room with me,” Sventi says, sounding increasingly desperate.

 

“I-”

 

“And why did you run away that night last week? What did I do? Did I accidentally hurt you when I was tickling you?” Oh no, he’s rambling. It happens when he’s worried.

 

“Sventi-”

 

“Were you embarrassed?”

 

“That’s not-”

 

“Oh my god, was my breath really that stinky? I didn’t brush my teeth before we started the mov-”

 

Sventi falls silent as he hears Talik _giggle_. He honest to god giggles. The strained atmosphere around them shatters. Sventi thinks he should be offended right now, but Talik’s giggling and it’s adorable and he doesn’t laugh very often, much less giggle like a teenaged girl, so he settles for confused and slightly indignant.

 

“Why are you laughing at me? It’s not funny, you know. You ignore me for a week and then laugh when I ask you what’s wrong?”

 

Talik wrestles his face straight, but he’s still smiling slightly. Sventi’s heart warms. He’s missed his best friend. He’s missed just talking to him with no one else around, missed that tiny, real smile that no one else but him gets to see.

 

“Sorry, sorry, it’s just- you looked so worried that your breath was stinky, like I hadn’t seen you vomit over a cliff when we climbed up Mt. Zecerci. Or like I hadn’t watched velzu juice come out of your nose when Ajuz told that one joke in academy training,” he replies, cracking up again. Sventi can’t help but smile as he watches his friend laugh. Then something occurs to him.

 

“Wait, was my breath stinky? You never said it wasn’t.”

 

Talik smiles. “No, Sventi, your breath was fine. I didn’t notice, actually, so even if it was stinky, I wouldn’t know.”

 

“What was wrong, then?” Sventi inquires.

 

His expression sobers. “I just… was surprised.”

 

Sventi tilts his head. “By what? I was tickling you, and then I stopped. Did I make you feel uncomfortable?”

 

“No!” Talik yelps. “No, you didn’t make me uncomfortable, it was just, um… You were staring at me like I was… I don’t know, like I was important or something. And I’m- I’m not that special and I’m bad with emotions, so I kind of freaked out.” He’s avoiding Sventi’s eyes again.

 

Sventi reaches out and pulls his face upwards, looking straight into Talik’s deep brown eyes, forcing him to look back. There’s tiny flecks of gold in them, and the color is actually made up of thousands of miniscule chocolate specks that remind him of stars, like galaxies are trapped in his eyes. That emotion is there again… And it’s gone. His cocoa skin is undertoned with a red flush rising to the surface.

 

“You are important, and you are special, and I understand that you didn’t want to talk about it. But please don’t avoid me like that again,” Sventi pleads. “I missed you.”

 

Talik goes red. He pulls his face out of Sventi’s hands and looks away. “...I missed you too, dumbass.”

 

Sventi grins at the insult. It’s Talik’s equivalent of an apology. “Sooooooo, now that that’s out of the way, since you’ve been working all night for the past week, I’m going to force you to go to bed!”

 

Talik eyes him warily. “How are you going to do that? I could just get up again after you leave.”

 

“Sleepover!” he cheers happily.

 

Talik groans. “Ughhhhhhhhh.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, come on, let’s go!” he encourages, grabbing Talik’s arm and dragging him towards his room. He’s not putting up much resistance, much to Sventi’s delight. It’s possible he could stop him if he really wanted to, but he doesn’t.

 

They pass Talik’s room and he says, “Wait, I have to grab pajamas!”

 

“Nope,” Sventi replies. “You can borrow mine.”

 

Talik glares at the back of his head, but sighs and says, “Fine,” and lets himself be dragged down the corridor to Sventi’s room, both in much better spirits than before.

 

\---

 

Talik is fairly certain he’s in the clear. After that terrible week of ignoring Sventi, he realized that distancing himself hurts not only himself, but Sventi too, even if he was only avoiding being alone with him. And he’ll be damned if he hurts his best friend, intentionally or not. And besides, the ship is only so big, he wouldn’t be able to avoid Sventi forever. So he wrangles his feelings away in a far corner of his mind and tries to act normal.

 

On the upside though, he’s pretty sure Sventi bought his excuse for why he was avoiding him. He’d learned a long time ago that lying straight to his face is pointless. He just knows him too well. So he didn’t lie, just didn’t tell him the whole truth. If Sventi could tell, he didn’t show it. He acted completely normal during their little impromptu “sleepover” (Why did Talik let him drag him into that again?), and Talik was perfectly content to recharge by just being alone with his best friend again. That’s the issue with being in love with his childhood friend - he needs him around, or it feels like a piece of him is missing.

 

So he hopes that Sventi will be satisfied with his half-truths until Talik can figure out how to get over him.

 

(He knows it’s not going to happen. He’s in way too deep to climb back up again.)

 

He continues on with life, business as usual. He feels much better, and he’s able to hang out with Sventi again without completely imploding. Everything is normal, as normal as it can be with Sventi. Until Syla and Zyke stage an intervention.

 

They corner Talik after lunch one day, shooing Sventi off to go work out or something (He’s almost grateful for that. Sventi was definitely going to try and drag Talik with him for a sparring match, meaning he’d spend an hour or so trying not to make it completely obvious that he’s drooling over Sventi’s bare chest. On the other hand, he likes sparring with him, so he glares at Syla). Talik waves to him over his shoulder with an apologetic look while Syla drags him away. Sventi just laughs and waves back, heading towards the exercise room. As soon as he’s gone, Syla makes eye contact with Zyke.

 

Belatedly, he realizes that these two are up to no good. And then everything goes black.

 

“What the hell?!” he yells, scrabbling at the thing over his head. “Is this a bag?!”

 

“Shh,” Syla giggles. “Wouldn't want to alert your knight in shining armor would you?”

 

Zyke snickers behind him and grabs his arms, locking them behind his back. Talik stiffens, then wrenches his arms out of Zyke’s grip, ramming his shoulder into his torso. Zyke topples over with a pained grunt, while Talik elbows Syla in the stomach when she tries to grab him again. She bends in half, clutching her stomach. He tugs the bag off, shaking his head. He looks around at his friends sprawled on the floor.

 

“Wh-What the shit, man?!” Zyke sputters. “What was that for?!”

 

“Really?” Talik deadpans. “You can't guess?”

 

Syla coughs. “Okay, okay, we get that we tried to kidnap you. But was the violence really necessary?”

 

“Ugh, where’d you even learn that?!” Zyke groans.

  
“I used to spar with Sventi a lot so I could get strong enough for fighter class piloting.”  
  
"I guess it’s not a good idea to try and kidnap Sventi, then, if that’s who he fights usually. And if we try to throw them in a closet together, they’ll break the door down. Ugh, actually, forget the door, I think he broke me," Zyke complains.  
  
Syla straightens, walking slowly towards Zyke and patting him on the shoulder, still holding her stomach. "There, there. We’ll find another way"  
  
Talik ignores the closet comment, not even wanting to ask. "You deserved it. Didn't your parents ever teach you that kidnapping people is rude?"  
  
Zyke looks up at him with innocent eyes. Talik doesn't buy it for a second. "That wasn't kidnapping, that was, uh... Friendly detainment!"  
  
Talik raises an unimpressed eyebrow. "Friendly detainment my ass."  
  
Syla smirks slyly. "No thanks, but I'm sure Sventi would love to. Or, you know, more-than-friendly detainment."  
  
Talik rolls his eyes, using every ounce of willpower he has to stop blood from rising to his face. "Is that what this is about?"  
  
Zyke grins.

 

Talik glares at Syla. “Ugh, Syla, really? Did you have to drag him into this?” he says, jerking a thumb at Zyke.

 

She raises her hands in surrender. “Hey, hey, not my fault. Please don’t hurt me.”

 

“It’s as much my problem as it is hers, dude,” Zyke points out. “We’re your friends.”

 

“Actually, it’s neither of your problems,” Talik retorts. “This is my issue, and neither of you have anything to do with it. Even if it was, there’s nothing you can do about it. He doesn’t like me like that.”

 

Syla sighs, a disappointed-mom look on her face. She looks at Zyke, who is sporting the same expression. “He’s just as oblivious as Sventi.”

 

Zyke shakes his head. “Hopeless, the both of them.”

 

“Well, at least Talik knows he’s disgustingly in love with his best friend. Sventi has no idea,” Syla adds.

 

“That’s because he’s _not_ , you idiots,” Talik says, irritated. They ignore him.

 

“It’s such a pain, too. He’s always gushing over how cute Talik is, and how he’s so glad he’s best friends with him, and he still doesn’t get it. He’s really, really stupid,” Zyke complains. “He pulls me aside at least once every two weeks and talks my ear off.”

 

“ _Zyke_ ,” Talik hisses, unable to stop the tips of his ears from reddening. The other two ignore him.

 

“You think you have it bad, I sense all those mushy feelings every day! It’s really annoying. Every day, I have to deal with the sappy, oh-my-god-I-love-him-so-much emotions. From both of them! Even if Sventi doesn’t know what they are, he still has them. Sometimes even more often than Talik! And Talik still thinks he doesn’t see him like that.” Syla says, throwing her hands in the air.

 

“I’m right here, you know,” Talik says. “And the stuff you’re getting from Sventi is platonic. We’ve literally been friends our entire lives.”

 

Syla gestures towards him, still talking to Zyke. “Case in point.”

 

“Syla, even if there’s a chance he does like me back, it’s tiny. And I’m not willing to throw away fifteen years of friendship for some silly crush.”

 

She gives up ignoring him and looks straight at him, looking incredulous. “‘Silly crush’?! Talik, you’ve literally been in love with him seven years. How in the universe is that a ‘silly crush’?”

 

“Oh my god, he really is as bad as you said,” Zyke observes. “They’re both stupid.”

 

“Excuse me?” Talik asks, raising his fist. “You want to say that again?”

 

“Nope, I’m good. Nevermind,” Zyke squeaks.

 

“Talik, please, just think about it for a second. Even if Sventi doesn’t return your feelings, which he does, do you really think he’d stop being your friend?” Syla asks earnestly.

 

“No, but it would make him uncomfortable around me. I- I can’t do that. I can’t make him think that’s the only reason I’m his friend. And there’s no way to put enough space between us during this mission.”

 

“Dude, there’s no way he’d think that. And besides, that’s not a problem since he’s in love with you too,” Zyke puts in.

 

Listening to his friends, he hopes. He imagines Sventi’s eyes, full of affection and love. He imagines his arms around him, his lips on his-

 

_No. Stop._

 

He covers his ears, screwing his eyes shut. All he can hear are Syla and Zyke’s words of encouragement mixed with his mind’s own fantasies. He needs to stop before it gets out of hand, needs to go back to reality-

 

_That’s right. Focus on what’s real. Think of what happened last time you let your hopes merge into reality. You nearly ruined everything._

 

He takes a deep breath.

 

“-kay? Talik, hey, what’s wrong?”

 

He lowers his hands and opens his eyes, calm.

 

“I’m fine,” he says, looking his friends straight in the eyes. “You guys were just being a little loud.”

 

Zyke breathes a sigh of relief. “Oh, good. Sorry, I know I can get loud.”

 

“Talik, just tell us next time, please,” Syla implores. “You had us worried there for a second. Your emotions were weirdly conflicted, and then just… blank.”

 

“Yeah, that’s because I tuned you guys out,” he says.

 

“Wow, thanks,” Zyke says sarcastically. “I’m glad that makes you calm.”

 

“I’m always calm,” Talik replies. “As long as I’m not listening to you two.”

 

“How could you?” Syla exclaims dramatically. “I thought we were your friends!”

 

“Doesn’t mean you guys aren’t extremely irritating.”

 

Zyke puts a hand on his chest, mock-offended. “I can’t believe you would say that about us! We are beautiful, stunning, flawless beings of perfection-”

 

“Goodbye,” Talik deadpans. He turns around and darts out of the hall, ignoring Zyke and Syla’s shouts to come back.

 

\---

 

After making his escape from the trouble duo, Talik goes and finishes up the research he was doing on the Amharic language. Xetra has so many languages, and while Amharic was not one of the languages he was required to program into their masks, languages fascinate him. He plans on putting it in the masks anyways once he’s fluent, because he wants to. After an hour and a half of learning the language, he goes back to the kitchen for a snack. He didn’t eat much at lunch. He realizes that Sventi hasn’t come around to bother him since then, and finds himself making his way towards the exercise room, eating a snack he grabbed from the pantry.

 

Before he even enters the room, he can hear the muffled thumps that tell him Sventi is beating up another punching bag. He presses the button to open the door, the pressurized panel splitting in half retracting into floor and ceiling with a soft hiss. Sventi doesn’t even notice his appearance. He’s dropped his jacket near the door with his water bottle and a small towel, and just as Talik predicted, is pulverizing a punching bag. His eyes are sharp with concentration, wild fiery hair disheveled as he throws another punch. His hands are wrapped in white compression tape. Sweat drips down his neck, Talik’s eyes following it as he suppresses the urge to lick it off. Oh my god, how much gayer can he get? _Museum rule_ , he reminds himself. _Look, but don’t touch._

 

Talik pulls his eyes away from Sventi’s neck and says, “Damn, Sventi, what did that poor punching bag ever do to you?”

 

Sventi looks up. Distracted, he doesn’t notice the punching bag swinging back towards him.

 

“Oh, hey Tali- Oof!”

 

Talik bursts out laughing.

 

“H-Hey, don’t laugh!” Sventi protests from the floor where he’s sprawled out. He shuts his eyes and breathes deeply, out of breath. He chuckles breathily. “Okay, I guess it is a little funny.”

 

“Y-You complete and utter _dork_!” Talik laughs.

 

“You distracted me! It’s not my fault!” Sventi says defensively. He’s smiling anyways.

 

 _I love you_ , he thinks.

 

“I’m not apologizing, that was too funny,” he snickers instead, walking over to him and offering him a hand. Sventi grabs it and stands, using the bottom of his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face. Talik tears his eyes away from his well-defined abs as he goes back over to the door, snatching the towel up off the floor.

 

“I believe you’re supposed to use this to wipe your face, not your shirt,” Talik teases, throwing the towel at Sventi’s head.

 

“My shirt was already drenched anyways,” Sventi says, pulling the towel off his head.

 

“Have you been here since lunch?” Talik asks, tossing him his water bottle as well.

 

Sventi catches it. “Yeah, but I was going to quit soon. Punching bags are not very interesting sparring partners, and I don’t want to run the flight sims without you,” he says, taking a swig of water. “Actually, since you’re here, you wanna go a few rounds, then run a couple sims?”

 

Talik shrugs. “Sure, why not?”

 

If Sventi had a tail, he’d be wagging it. “Really? Wow, that was easy, usually it takes some convincing.” (True, but he never really says no. He can’t say no to Sventi.)

 

“Eh, I just spent a while learning Amharic. I’m in a good mood. Oh, and before that I beat up Zyke and Syla, and that was fun.”

 

“Noooo, not my bro!” Sventi exclaims sarcastically. “What did he and Syla do?”

 

“Tried to kidnap me and throw me in a closet. They didn’t count on the fact that I know how to fight.” He leaves out the fact that they were planning on throwing Sventi in there with him.

 

“Why the hell did they try to throw you in a closet?” he asks, sounding slightly protective.

 

“Who knows? Its Zyke and Syla,” he replies. “And you don’t have to sound like you’re about to go fight them for it. I’m not a damsel in distress you know, I can take care of myself,” he teases, smirking.

 

“But you’re so tiny! You need protection!” Sventi replies with a shit-eating grin. Talik knows he’s trying to rile him up, but he plays along anyways (Besides, he’s never really annoyed with him, and he knows it).

 

“Ohhh, you’re gonna get it for that one,” Talik hisses, stomping over to Sventi’s gray jacket and rifling through the pockets. “Where’s your compression tape? Nevermind, found it.” He shucks off his gloves and wraps his hands in the bright white tape, stretching his fingers out. He pulls his waistcoat and button up off and drops them on top of Sventi’s jacket, leaving him in his white undershirt. He pulls his hair back into a small ponytail. Sventi’s eyes flick across his figure while his back is turned.

 

“Best of three?” Sventi asks as Talik turns back around, a challenging grin on his face. He backs up into the sparring ring behind him. Talik follows, smirking.

 

“Bring it on,” he says, settling back into a fighting stance. Sventi does the same, a hint of a smile lingering on his lips.

 

They’re both still for a moment, waiting for the other to move. Talik’s mind sinks into focused calm. Then they spring into action.

 

Sventi throws the first punch, aiming at his solar plexus. Talik darts to the left. Sventi may be broader and taller, but Talik is quick. Sventi stumbles, but quickly recovers and grabs Talik’s arm, twisting it behind his back. He elbows him in the chest, whipping around to block with his forearm as Sventi throws a punch. They trade blows back and forth. Jab, block, kick, side step, duck, punch, elbow, dodge.

 

Talik is not a violent person by nature, but sparring with Sventi is comforting, like singing, or writing music. Maybe because it’s something they’ve always done together, maybe because it’s a reminder that he’s still able to keep up with him. He’ll always chase after Sventi, no matter how far he goes. And Sventi never holds back with him, which he’s grateful for.

 

By the ninth round (both of them forgot to stop at three), Talik is exhausted. Even though Sventi has been exercising for the past hour and a half, he’s still incredibly energetic. Finally, Sventi pins him down, straddling him and sitting on his thighs, locking his hands above his head. They’re both heaving for breath. Sventi’s stares down at him, a predatory glint in his eyes. Talik shuts his eyes at the intensity of his expression.

 

 _Museum rule_ , he repeats to himself. _Don’t touch. Do. Not. Touch._

 

“Phew,” Sventi breathes finally. “Damn, I keep forgetting how good you are at this.”

 

“Heh,” Talik chuckles breathlessly, eyes still closed. “Pretty good for a thesic.”

 

“Seriously, Tali,” Sventi says as he gets up, pulling Talik up with him. He opens his eyes to see Sventi’s bright grin. “You’re amazing. I’ve never met anyone who’s not an actuliv who can match me other than you.”

 

“Lots of practice, as you know,” he replies. “I can’t count how many hours we spent sparring in academy.”

 

“And pre-academy,” Sventi reminds him. “Remember the gym there?”

 

Talik scrunches up his nose, the corner of his mouth tilting into a half-smile. “Eww, I don’t even want to. It smelled like month-old sweaty socks and rotten crelch in there.”

 

Sventi laughs. “That was Ajuz’s gym shorts, and his lunch that he left in his locker one day and never picked up. The janitor was so mad!”

 

“Oh god, the janitor. That guy was such a perfectionist.”

 

“Well, yeah, and he was a seer. So he noticed when something was out of place.”

 

“But Veztsle is a seer, and she isn’t like that guy,” Talik points out.

 

“She’s best friends with Syla, and she’s not the most organized person in the universe,” Sventi replies. “Oh yeah, I meant to ask earlier, but I forgot. How hard did you hit Syla earlier?”

 

“Oh, not very hard. I just elbowed her in the stomach. She was acting like I broke one of her ribs, though,” Talik says nonchalantly.

 

“And Zyke?”

 

“I rammed into his chest with my shoulder when he tried to pin my arms behind my back.”

 

“I probably should’ve warned him that you don’t like being restrained,” Sventi says.

 

“You literally just pinned me to the floor two minutes ago,” Talik reminds him.

 

“Oh, but you like it when I pin you,” Sventi teases with a mischievous grin.

 

Talik rolls his eyes, but still reddens at the innuendo. He's definitely not imagining it. Nope, no way. “You’re an idiot.”

 

Sventi laughs. “Am not.”

 

“Are too.”

 

“Am not.”

 

“Are too.”

 

“Am not.”

 

“Are too- Ugh, let’s not do this right now,” Talik grumbles. “I think I’ll have to do a rain check on the flight sims. I’m tired, and still hungry. I ate a snack earlier, but it’s been like an hour of sparring and I need food again.”

 

“Okay, let’s go get something from the kitchen,” Sventi suggests, walking towards the entrance and grabbing their stuff. He tosses Talik’s things to him, then presses the button to open the door.

 

As soon as they step out into the cool air of the hallway, they hear Lienza yelling something about Syla and Zyke being idiots.

 

“Oh boy,” Sventi says.

 

“What now?” Talik sighs resignedly.

 

“Well,” Sventi says tentatively. “From Lienza’s screaming, I’m assuming Zyke and Syla fried the security systems trying to access the cameras.”

 

Talik facepalms.

 

\---

 

It’s been almost a year now since the mission left Leclexda. Sventi can’t believe how fast time passes. Well, actually slow, since everywhere else in the universe they haven’t been gone for even a second. That’s what happens when you rip a hole through the fabric of space and time, he supposes. Between keeping himself and the crew in shape (no one else would work out unless he made them, except maybe Talik and Lienza - she never breaks rules), doing more research, and keeping the ship working while it’s hurtling through space at around a million light years a second, he hasn’t had much time to do much else.

 

Well. There are exceptions. Such as the mass amounts of his free time he spends with his best friend. What can he say? Time flies when you’re having fun.

 

Or maybe time flies when you’re confused. Which Sventi is. Mostly because of said best friend. And also because of his best bro.

 

His confusion stems from a conversation he had with Zyke a week after he and Syla shorted the security systems.

 

He’d gone to talk to Zyke after he and Talik had fixed the broken grid. Just as they’d finished the last of the rewiring, Talik turned towards the small window of the circuitry closet they were working in. The warm light of the cosmos washed across his cocoa skin and his deep pink hair, bathing him in gold. Sventi’s heart skipped a beat.

 

“I’m really glad we’re finally out here, you know,” he’d said, a soft smile on his lips. “Even if we have to clean up after our crewmates all the time.”

 

Sventi forgot how breathe for a second. His chest filled with a warm feeling, and he’d wanted nothing more in that moment then to let out the emotion that was threatening to burst out of him, to lean down and-

 

And what?

 

Then Syla had slammed the door open (yes, she actually slammed it, the closet is one of the only rooms in the entire ship with a manual door, as opposed to an automatic one), breaking off his train of thoughts, apologizing quickly and demanding custody of Talik. Sventi hadn’t put up much of a fight, too busy being confused about where his mind was just going.

 

He’s wandering off in the general direction of his room when he bumps into Zyke.

 

“Woah, man, what’s with the face? You look like you’ve been brainwashed and put in the middle of a Xetran mall,” Zyke says.

 

“Huh?” Sventi replies intelligently.

 

“Nevermind, I know exactly what happened,” Zyke smirks. “We’re not talking about this here, c’mon.”

 

Zyke grabs his elbow and begins dragging him towards his room. Well, tries. He has the muscle mass of a noodle.

 

“Aw, really dude?” he complains. “I know you’re still blinded by the ‘radiance that is your best friend’, but c’mon, you know I can’t _carry_ you back to your own flippin’ room!”

 

“What?” Sventi asks, looking down at Zyke. He shakes his head, trying to clear the fog over his mind. “Oh, sorry bro.” He starts walking, gaining a sigh of relief from the shorter seiker next to him.

 

Once safely in his room, Zyke pushes him into a chair in front of his desk, taking the one behind it and resting his chin on his fists like an interrogator. Or Lienza. Same thing.

 

“Okay, spill. What did Talik do this time?”

 

“I don’t even know,” Sventi groans, covering his face with his hands. “We were just working on that circuitry that you and Syla fried, and he looked out the window and said something about being really happy to be here, and- I don’t even know, he just- he looked so- _ugh._ ”

 

“Ugh?” Zyke says, amusement lacing his tone. “That’s a new one. Usually it’s _cute_ or _adorable_ or _like the beauty of all the stars in the universe condensed in a single being_.”

 

Sventi lowers his hands. “I did not say that last one!”

 

“Okay, I give, I totally made that one up.” Zyke says. “But you were definitely thinking it,” he murmurs under his breath.

 

“What did you say?”

 

“Nothing, nothing. Okay, to business here. What were you thinking when Talik said whatever he said?”

 

“I don’t know, I just felt really warm, and I wanted to... hug him, or something,” Sventi replies. “It was like how amazing he is just came back and hit me in the face again, and I just want to protect him forever, and I want to spend my entire life with him and make him realize how incredible he is.”

Zyke stares at him.

 

“...What?” Sventi says, suddenly self-conscious.

 

“Nothing,” Zyke replies, shaking his head. “Bro, I’m sorry- how in the universe do you _still_ not know what’s going on here?”

“What? I don’t get it. I’m just ranting about how amazing my best friend is to my bro. We do this like, every other week. What’s different this time?”

 

Zyke says, a half-pitying-half-exasperated look in his eyes. “No, that’s not- listen, bro, I love you and I value your intelligence, but how can you not- nevermind. Syla told me I should let you figure it out yourself or wait until Talik tells you himself.”

 

“Tell me what?”

 

“Nothing. I don’t know if he’ll do it anyways. Here, how about this. This might make you realize it.”

 

“What _are_ you talking about-

 

“What would you do if Talik told you he loved you?” Zyke asks, cutting him off.

 

“I’d tell him I love him too. He’s my best friend, duh,” Sventi replies, not missing a beat.

 

“Okay, so what if he told you he was in love with someone?”

 

That stops him.

 

A dark swoop of hurt and protectiveness and jealousy sweeps through him. And then he’s just really confused, because where on Leclexda did _that_ come from?

 

He forces himself to think for a second. He’d be happy for Talik, right? He’d always known that he and Talik would find partners eventually, but he’d never really thought about it. He imagines his best friend walking hand-in-hand with some girl or boy, strolling down the frozen trails of Leclexda. And then that sick feeling engulfs him again.

 

What the hell?

 

A voice breaks through his jumbled brain. “Okay, slow down there champ, you’re gonna fry your brain, and I know for a fact those are harder to fix than the security systems.”

 

“Huh?” Wow. A real fountain of eloquence today, Sventi.

 

“Leclexda to Sventi? Actually, we’re not on Leclexda. Uh, ship-in-a-wormhole-hurtling-through-the-space-time-continuum to Sventi? Do you read?”

 

“...I read you,” he confirms. _Barely, though, I feel like someone made scrambled drakli eggs out of my brain._

“Oh, good, I thought I broke you, bro!” Zyke says with a grin. “You back?”

 

“Yep. Except now I’m really confused.”

 

“Still?!” Zyke says, exasperated. “Actually, I’m not that surprised. You always were oblivious.”

 

“Ugh, oblivious to _what_?! You’re not really helping me here, bro! That’s a violation of the bro code! Bro helps bro!” Sventi complains.

 

“I did help you, bro!”

 

“That was not helping, bro! I’m _more_ confused now!”

 

“Bro!”

 

“Bro!”

 

“Bruh!”

 

“Brah!”

 

“Brahbruhbro!”

 

“Brahdebruhdebrodebro!”

 

“Brahdebruhdebrodiddlybro!”

 

“Brahdebruhdebrodiddlybroshkabro!”

 

“Brah-”

 

“IN THE NAME OF LECLEXDA,” comes an enraged voice that sounds a lot like Lienza through the door. “WILL YOU TWO SHUT _UP_?!”

 

“Meep!” Zyke squeaks.

 

\---

 

Talik is almost glad when Syla drags him away from Sventi. He’s gotten sloppy, he realizes, and his brain-to-mouth filter seems to be losing its touch. He should fix that, before he does a repeat of the mouth-running incident from their mission-prep year.

 

Syla’s babbling about something in his ear as she pulls him down the hall. She looks back at him expectantly.

 

“What?”

 

She sighs. “You weren’t listening, were you?”

 

“Umm, no. Sorry. Say that again?”

 

“I was saying that Veztsle and I need some help with Xetran translation. You’re fluent, right?”

 

“First of all, Xetran is not a language. There are many different languages on Xetra. Second, I can probably help you. And third, did you really need to bust in for that?”

 

Syla smirks. “Ooh, were you in the middle of a steamy moment with your boyfriend-“

 

“Not my boyfriend.”

 

“-in the closet?”

 

Talik rolls his eyes, ears reddening slightly. He really needs to get a grip on this blushing problem. Add that to his to-do list. “Actually, we were fixing the security systems, which is _your_ fault, by the way.”

 

She blinks innocently at him. “What are you talking about? It was Zyke’s idea.”

 

“No it wasn’t,” Talik scoffs. “I know you were using the cameras to spy on us. You fried the systems on purpose because Lienza came in and you didn’t have time to shut them off before she caught you.”

 

Syla puts a hand to her chest in mock horror. “What an accusation!”

 

“Whatever, Syla.”

 

She grins. “Anyways, back to what you were doing with your boyfriend-“

 

“Not. My. Boyfriend.”

 

“-in there…”

 

Talik sighs.

 

“You were relieved when I pulled you out.” It really annoys him that she says it like a statement rather than a question. “What did he say to you?”

 

“I’m not going to be able to avoid this, am I?” he mutters to himself.

 

“Nope!” Syla confirms cheerily, still dragging him along by the arm. “I want all the juicy details!”

 

He groans resignedly. He’s not getting around this, might as well get it over with. “Ugh, it wasn’t something he said. I said something really cheesy and random and I probably sounded like a lovestruck schoolgirl.”

 

Syla chuckles. “Oh my god, he probably melted. I should’ve stayed to watch!”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Talik deadpans.

 

“Aww, c’mon, Talik. What did you say, specifically? You can’t leave me with just _cheesy_ , I said details!” Syla complain.

 

Talik frowns. “No. You’ll just tease me more.”

 

“No I won’t!” she says as she pushes him through a doorway. It’s one of the offices. Veztsle is sitting in a chair in front of one of the computers, her face illuminated by its light. She spins the seat around to look at them.

 

“Veztsle, you gotta tell Talik that he _has_ to tell me what he told Sventi!” Syla whines.

 

”That was a lot of ‘tell’s,” Talik observes.

 

Veztsle sighs. “Syla, leave him alone,” she scolds. “Weren’t you going to get him to help us, not to pester him?” Talik is extremely grateful for Veztsle’s existence.

 

“Fine, fine,” Syla pouts.

 

“So, what did you need?” Talik asks.

 

“There’s a website that Syla wanted to look at, but it’s in a Xetran language and we can’t read it. It’s not one of the ones we have translators on the computers for either,” Veztsle replies.

 

“Let me see.”

 

Veztsle rolls her chair to the side as Talik leans down over the computer. “Mm. This is Japanese. I’m semi-fluent, but this website is pretty big and I don’t think you want me to read the entire thing to you. Syla, go get your mask from the tech room, it has Japanese on it. I’ll import the translator onto this computer.”

 

“Sure thing!” Syla says, skipping out the door.

 

Talik begins tinkering with the computer, opening the translation software and preparing it for a new language. Veztsle sits silently next to him.

 

Veztsle is still somewhat of a mystery to him. They have a quiet sort of friendship, but Talik doesn’t know much about her. He didn’t like her at first because she got assigned her first mission so quickly. He was jealous. She’s a prodigy. She has talent and is a seer, ideal for a mission such as theirs with her photographic memory, hyper-observant mind, and flawless multitasking skills. For all intents and purposes, a genius. She had it easy, whereas Talik had to fight tooth-and-nail for a place on a crew. He’s the first thesic to be assigned as a pilot to an exploration mission. Most thesics involved in space exploration take a minor role, rather than piloting, seen as too soft to handle the physical and mental exertion. But Talik had worked hard, spent hours training, practicing, studying, clawing at a chance for a mission. He’d put up top-notch flight simulation scores, on par with all the best pilots in his class. And yet, he still had to fight for recognition as a pilot, denied mission assignments over and over again until he finally got his place. So he resented Veztsle, who was assigned a mission after only three years of training.

 

But he knew he had to put that aside, because if he let his personal jealousy of her get in the way, he would run the risk of getting one or both of them reassigned or removed. And after a while, he found it hard to dislike her. She’s kind and smart, and despite being a little mysterious, she’s a very genuine person.

 

“Umm, Talik?” Veztsle is looking at him curiously.

 

“Oh, sorry,” he says, resuming his task.

 

“It’s okay. And, uh, sorry about Syla. I know she’s been bothering you about Sventi. She’s… Well, you know how she is. But she’s just trying to help.”

 

Talik sighs. “Yeah, I know… And I appreciate it, but I don’t need her help. I’ll be fine, I’ll get over it or something. I’ve dealt with it for this long, I can handle it.”

 

Veztsle scrutinizes him carefully, green eyes searching his face. It makes him feel a little uncomfortable, like he’s transparent. “I wish I could help you more, but I have no experience with love.”

 

“You’re only seventeen. You will eventually.”

 

She wrinkles her nose. “I don’t really know if I want any.”

 

“Unfortunately it’s not something you choose,” Talik says. “Otherwise I would’ve chosen to fall in love with anyone other than that massive goofball. Or not at all.”

 

“Is love really that bad?” Veztsle asks, eyeing him warily. “You always look happy around him.”

 

“No,” Talik amends with a sigh. “It- It hurts, but I wouldn’t give him up for anything. I would do anything to make him happy. He’s everything to me, and that’s why I can’t tell him. I can’t lose him.”

 

Veztsle opens her mouth to say something, but she’s cut off by Syla reentering the room.

 

“I got it! Now, what do I need to do with it?”

 

“Oh, you’re back,” Talik says. “Give it here.”

 

Syla passes him the mask. “What were you guys talking about? Talik’s feelings are warm and painful at the same time. Which is a really weird feeling on my end. Wait a minute, I know what it was. Only one thing makes Talik’s feelings so conflicted. Veztsle, did you get him to tell you what he said?”

 

“ _No_ ,” both of them say at the same time.

 

Syla laughs. “Okay, I get it. I’ll drop the subject.” Talik shakes his head in disbelief as he pulls the Japanese translation chip from the inside of the mask and plugs it into the computer.

 

“So you’re reading articles about animals,” he says, referencing the website. “’Save the star-nosed mole’?”

 

“Hey, we’re exploring space! I saw its nose and I had to click on it,” Syla says.

 

“She’s been scrolling through random articles on the Xetran internet for the past two hours,” Veztsle says. “I don’t actually know why I needed to be here for this.”

 

The translator finishes installing, and Talik takes the chip out and returns it to the mask.

 

“I’ll take this back to the tech room,” he says. “I’ve gotta go find Sventi and see if he did the check-ups on the security cameras.”

 

“Okay~” Syla sing-songs. “Don’t get side-tracked!” She winks suggestively.

 

As the door slides shut behind him, Talik sees Veztsle flick Syla’s forehead.

 

“Oww, Veztsle, what was that for?!” comes Syla’s muffled complaint.

 

\---

 

It’s painful. No matter how much he says he’s fine, no matter how much he tells the others not to worry, it’s painful. He’s never free of the dull ache in his chest that builds to the point where he can’t breathe, can’t think.

 

He’s selfish, he realizes, when everything becomes too much. He’s so incredibly lucky that Sventi has stayed around this long. He’s always been there for him, to pick him up when he falls apart and to piece him back together afterwards. And yet, he wants more. He asks, and Sventi gives, and he still wants more. And he shouldn’t want, but he does. He does, but he never allows himself to hope. Because then he’ll want more.

 

He needs something to take his mind off of his best friend, so he throws himself into flight practice. This is what he did back on Leclexda every night before and after mission assignments, and many times in between. It’s tiring, but at least it distracts him from the pain in his ribcage. Hours upon hours are spent in the flight simulator they have on board, late into the night. He sleeps as little as possible, because if he sleeps, he dreams of bright smiles and warm eyes, of comforting touches and the smell of pine. He covers the dark circles under his eyes with the concealer they use to blend the material of their masks into the skin of their necks. He uses eyedrops to keep his eyes from becoming bloodshot. He rubs at his chest, trying to massage the pain away. He keeps his back straight, his eyes bright, his voice neutral, his expressions natural.

 

He’s got everyone convinced, he thinks. Syla doesn’t detect any exhaustion from him, because he builds a wall of normal emotions high around him. Even Veztsle, with her impeccable observation skills, doesn’t seem to notice anything.

 

But of course, there’s Sventi.

 

He doesn’t confront him about it, but every so often he’ll catch him frowning at him out of the corner of his eye, and Talik wonders if he can tell. He’s acting strangely, not touching Talik casually like he used to. He’s been watching him, staring at him when his back is turned with a weird, conflicted expression. And there’s been an odd break in their banter where Sventi will falter for a second before picking up with the next sarcastic comment. Maybe he’s suspects Talik’s feelings and is pulling away because he doesn’t want to know how disgusting Talik is.

 

 _Good,_ Talik thinks bitterly. _Maybe if he detaches himself a little, it’ll give me time to get a hold of myself._

 

He doesn’t dwell on the implications, because dwelling on them gives him two options; imagining Sventi rejecting him and inevitably not wanting to be around him if he finds out, or imagining the other outcome. The former makes the pain in his chest sharpen like a knife, and the latter is not allowed or he’ll hope and he’ll want and want and want and want and-

 

(He still thinks about him anyways.)

 

As an extra precaution, he starts going to his room like normal at the end of the day and reading a piloting handbook or watching professionals perform complicated maneuvers until he’s sure everyone’s asleep. Then he changes into a skin-tight black workout shirt and sweatpants and sneaks out into the hallways towards the exercise room. He spends all night in the flight sim, working off his pain and frustration, alleviating the ache in his chest. And though his hours in the simulator leave him sore and tired, at least it’s a different burn. But as soon as he steps outside the pod, the pain returns in full force. He digs his palm harder into his sternum.

 

So he gets a couple hours of sleep, not long enough for any lasting dreams, and goes back again the next night.

 

And so the days pass.

 

And his still his heart hurts.

 

\---

 

Sventi is kind of sad that they’re using a wormhole instead of just flying. He loves co-piloting the ship with Talik. But they were assigned this mission together, and even if it is on auto-pilot most of the time, he’s looking forward to being able to fly a little once they reach Xetra.

 

There’s a flight simulator on board, he knows; it’s tucked away in a corner of the exercise room. Talik and Sventi use it when they work out together. Recently, though, Talik has insisted that they do some individual training when they’d usually run cooperative simulations. It reminds him a little of their academy years, and he’s getting a little worried.

 

It’s not just that, either. Talik has been acting completely normal, but every so often he’ll see him stumble slightly when he thinks no one can see him or rub his chest like it’s aching. And that reminds him of bad times too, and he worries more.

 

But what worries him most are his eyes.

 

Talik’s face has always been the most honest part of him other than his heart. Sventi spent years learning to recognize every one of Talik’s emotions, and the easiest way to tell what he’s feeling is through his eyes and face. There’s other ways to tell – the slight twitch of his left pinky finger when he lies, the tenseness of his shoulders when he’s stressed or nervous.

 

Sventi knows Talik has learned how to control his expressions, but there are some things that he can’t hide. Like the tightening around his eyes whenever he smiles recently. And how his eyes are a bit red at the corners and a little too heavy-lidded. And how his emotions all seem slightly forced, robotic, on auto-pilot like the ship. No one else notices anything. If it were anyone else, he wouldn’t notice anything either. But this is Talik, so he notices.

 

But he’s still pretty confused about him since his talk with Zyke (he seems to be confused a lot lately). Whenever he’s around, Sventi notices that his heart starts beating faster. He realizes that it’s probably been doing that for a long time, he just hadn’t noticed. The warm feeling in his chest that appears whenever he sees Talik grows until it’s almost too much. He tries to imagine Talik with someone again, but comes up with a hot flash of jealousy that leaves him confused all over again. Instead, his brain supplies him with a recollection the beautiful red blush that colored his dark skin and the vulnerable look in his eyes that night weeks ago, and the way he’d unknowingly whimpered when Sventi had him trapped between his arms. He finds himself wondering what Talik would’ve looked like, sounded like if he had leaned down that night and closed the gap between them.

 

And then he feels awful, because he’s pretty sure that’s _not_ how you’re supposed to think about your best friend.

 

But the longer he lets it go, the more he recognizes the signs that something’s wrong.

 

Then late one night, when everyone else is asleep, Sventi goes to Talik’s door to see if he wants to watch a movie, thinking it might give him an opportunity to observe him more closely. But before he even has a chance to hum their tune, the door opens.

 

Talik looks terrible, worse than Sventi has ever seen him. His eyes are bloodshot and puffy, like he’s been crying. His shoulders have a beaten, defeated slump to them. His expression is hollow and empty and so, so _wrong_. He’s dressed in his workout clothes, and from the way the shirt clings to his frame, Sventi can tell he hasn’t been eating enough. His heart stops cold when he realizes where Talik was headed.

 

His hollow look is quickly replaced by shock and fear. Probably the most genuine expression Sventi has seen on his face in weeks. He tries to shut the door, but Sventi gets his foot in it before it slides all the way closed.

 

Before he can register what he’s doing, Sventi is in his room and has him pinned against the wall. Talik struggles, panic written all over his face, but Sventi doesn’t let him go. He finally gives in, slumping against the wall and squeezing his eyes shut.

 

“Explain,” Sventi says, words trembling and tight with worry and anger.

 

Talik doesn’t open his eyes. “I’m tired, Sventi,” he says, his voice dull and hopeless.

 

“Why?” he asks, loosening his grip. His anger drains out at the tonelessness of Talik’s words, and now he feels sick. Talik doesn’t answer. A single tear escapes from the corner of his eye. Before it can pass his cheek, Sventi brings his shaking hands up to gently cup his face, swiping his thumb under his eye to wipe it away. His thumb comes back brown, the same shade as Talik’s skin.

 

He stares at it for a moment, then returns his thumbs to Talik’s face, rubbing both under Talik’s eyes. The concealer comes off easily with the help of a stream of tears that Talik finally lets go of.

 

Sventi can’t stand it anymore. He grabs Talik and wraps him in his arms, holding him tightly against his chest. He takes a shuddering breath.

 

Talik’s body is wracked with silent sobs. His tears soak into the fabric of Sventi’s tee-shirt.

 

"Why,” he whispers brokenly. “Why aren’t you angry? Why can’t you j-just hate me? That would make it s-so much easier.”

 

“I’ll never hate you,” Sventi says shakily. “Never.”

 

Talik pounds his fist against Sventi’s chest and lets out an anguished, painful cry. Sventi squeezes him closer over his litany of _why, why, it hurts, make it stop, it hurts, please, why_. His chest tightens. He resists the urge to press his hands over his ears to block out his best friend’s painful cries and wonders what could’ve possibly made him hurt this badly.

 

“I’m tired,” Talik sobs. “I’m so, so tired.”

 

“Shh,” Sventi murmurs. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

 

“It’s not okay!” Talik cries, shoving weakly at him. “It’s not okay, it never will be, because it’s wrong, and I’m pathetic, and I can never get anything right! And I c-can’t- I can’t lose you!”

 

“Lose me?” Sventi asks. “Why would you lose me?”

 

“Be-Because I’m- I’ve always- I’m in-“

 

Sventi doesn’t find out what he’s struggling to say, because suddenly, the entire ship shudders and the alarms begin blaring.

 

\---

 

The alarms startle Talik back to reality. A cold feeling of dread settles in the pit of his stomach, from both the realization of what he almost just admitted and the red lights flashing through his room. He rips himself out of Sventi’s arms, exhaustion forgotten and shaking with adrenaline.

 

“Tali, wait-“ Sventi starts.

 

“We have to get to the control room,” he says, letting his fear seep into his voice. “Now!”

 

Together they run, darting through hallways as fast as possible. On the way, they find Zyke, who’s panting and looks like he just got out of bed. Given the time, he probably did. He notices Talik’s disheveled, tear-stained state and opens his mouth to say something, but stops at a warning shake of the head from Sventi. Talik shoots him a grateful look as he scrubs a hand over his face.

 

As they run, they pass several windows. Outside, the cosmic glow of the wormhole is flickering, stars stuttering in and out of view. The side of the wormhole is gradually getting closer.

 

All three of them burst into the control room. Lienza and Yeshi are already there, still in their sleep wear, frantically typing on the holo-screens. Zyke rushes to the positioning systems. Syla and Veztsle appear from the right wing as Talik and Sventi make a dash for their seats.

 

“What’s going on?!” Syla yells.

 

“Veztsle, status report!” Lienza barks, eyes glued to the projection in front of her.

 

Veztsle quickly reaches for her holo-screen, assessing the situation. “The wormhole is unstable! One of the refracting lenses is out of alignment!”

 

“Syla, go fix that!”

 

“I’m on it!” She sprints out of the room.

 

“Zyke, find out where we are. Get us a safe place to stop in case we have to. Talik, Sventi, we’re going to have to disable the auto-pilot. Keep the ship in the wormhole for as long as possible!”

 

“Roger!” Talik and Sventi say at the same time. They reach for the controls, sharing a final determined look, sinking into their job.

 

With a synchronized pull of a handle, the ship slowly rights itself. Talik and Sventi work as one, pressing buttons and flipping switches and tugging levers at light speed. The gravity of the wormhole pulls them towards the edge, threatening to send them hurtling out into space at millions of light-years a second. The wormhole pocket flickers, glimpses of the universe flashing by.

 

“There’s an empty corridor coming up between the Yvinshil and Pyloxic galaxies! We might be able to stop there!” Zyke reports, his fingers flying across his holographic map. “Here!”

 

He sends the locations to the screens in front of Talik and Sventi.

 

“Syla, how much more time do you need?” Lienza shouts over the intercom.

 

 _“Only a couple minutes!”_ Syla’s voice replies.

 

“We can get you a minute!”

 

_“I can do that!”_

 

“Good! Talik, Sventi, how long until we come up on that corridor?”

 

“Soon! We’ll hit it in a little less than a minute!” Sventi answers.

 

“We can give you five seconds extra,” Talik says through gritted teeth.

 

“We’ll be out of the wormhole by then!” Veztsle yells. “It’ll only hold up for forty-five seconds longer!”

 

“You’ll have to pilot the ship outside the wormhole for five seconds.”

 

“We won’t make it! We’ll be in the middle of an asteroid field!” Zyke exclaims.

 

“We can evade the asteroids until we hit the corridor,” Sventi says, determined. “I know we can.”

 

Talik wishes he could be as certain. He’s running purely on adrenaline now, and his hands are shaky. He’s dizzy, and he knows his reflexes aren’t reliable at this point. There’s a limit to how far he can push his body, and he supposes he’s about to hit it. He laughs inwardly at himself. _How pathetic._ _I’m putting us all in danger because I can’t deal with my own stupid feelings._

 

He doesn’t have an option though. He has to do this, or they could all die. He wouldn’t mind as much if it were just him, but he has to do this for the entire crew. For Sventi.

 

“Let’s do it,” he says, clenching his jaw.

 

“You’ll be okay,” Yeshi says quietly but firmly from Lienza’s side. Talik has a feeling their current dilemma isn’t the only thing she’s referring to.

 

Veztsle gives the countdown. “Wormhole will destabilize in five… Four… Three… Two… One!”

 

The wormhole collapses. The ship is suddenly hurtling towards an asteroid. Sventi and Talik jerk up on the wheel at the same time, barely missing the giant rock, before being faced with another one. They swerve around the asteroids, nearly clipping a wing on several. It’s the longest five seconds of Talik’s life. But they make it to the edge of the belt unscathed.

 

Until Talik’s hands, slick with sweat, slip off the wheel just as they’re confronted with one last rock.

 

With a huge jolt and and awful crunching noise, the right wing glances off the rock and sends them spiraling into the corridor.

 

Talik hears Sventi curse beside him. He immediately throws his weight at the stabilizer, trying to stop the ship’s spinning. Talik switches on the boosters just as it stops, sending them flying through the empty space of the corridor. Syla yells triumphantly over the intercom, and a rip in space appears in front of them. They fly into the pocket, reentering the wormhole.

 

Talik vaguely hears cheering behind him, and feels Sventi’s hand on his arm. His vision darkens, the controls swimming in and out of focus in front of him. He registers Sventi’s muffled calls.

 

 _Oh look, there’s the limit,_ he thinks.

 

Then everything goes black.

 

\---

 

Sventi thought he was worried before when he found Talik leaving his room before the alarms went off. He was even more worried when he went to the control room anyways, trying to remain calm despite his exhausted frame.

 

None of that compares to what he feels when Talik slumps over in his seat amidst the crew’s cheers.

 

Dread fills his gut. Quickly, he darts over and catches him before he falls out of his seat.

 

Veztsle makes an alarmed sound when she notices Talik’s condition. The rest of the crew immediately falls silent.

 

In the midst of the thick silence, Syla barrels in. “We did it, guys-“ She goes silent.

 

“Oh no…” she whispers.

 

“Sventi…” Lienza says gently.

 

He sweeps Talik into his arms, bridal style. “Later,” he chokes out through the lump in his throat.

 

He pushes past the small huddle of people and makes his way to the infirmary a couple doors down from the common room. It’s small, with only two single beds and a cabinet full of medical supplies. He lays Talik down gently on the bed farthest from the door and checks his vitals. Nothing’s terribly off, but he looks exhausted and his temperature is a little higher than usual. Sventi sighs in relief and sits on the bed next to Talik, resting his face in his hands.

 

How could he let it get this far? He knew something was wrong. He saw the signs, and he knew. But he didn’t do anything. He didn’t do anything because he was scared and confused. He’s still scared and confused.

 

He doesn’t know how long he sits there. He doesn’t hear the door slide open either.

 

“…Hey,” Zyke says from behind him. Sventi hums in acknowledgement. “Lienza wants to know what happened. Can you come out to the common room?”

 

Sventi’s reluctant to leave Talik’s side, but he supposes he owes the crew an explanation. Only a few minutes. “…Yeah.”

 

He stands up and follows Zyke out to the common room. Everyone else is already seated, with the exception of Yeshi, who stayed back in the control room to monitor the ship just in case. A video feed projected by a holopad on a side table shows her face.

 

Sventi sits in the armchair while Zyke takes a spot on the couch.

 

“So,” Lienza says, her usually controlled tone wobbling slightly. “What happened?”

 

“Talik’s been sneaking out at night and using the flight simulator,” Sventi replies, shaky with concern and anger at himself. “I don’t know why. He can’t have been getting more than two hours of sleep for at least two weeks.”

 

“How have none of us noticed?” Veztsle asks, sounding guilty.

 

“He’s really good at hiding it,” Sventi says after making a fruitless but valiant attempt at calming himself down. “It’s not your fault. He’s had a habit of overworking himself since pre-academy. I didn’t see anything wrong until it was way past bad, and even then I didn’t say anything.”

 

“He looked awful,” Zyke adds. “I’ve never seen anyone with dark circles like that.”

 

“He covered them with concealer,” Sventi says. “And I’m guessing he put in eyedrops to keep his eyes from becoming bloodshot. He was waiting to go to the flight sim until after everyone else had gone to bed.”

 

“I haven’t felt any tiredness from him in the past weeks. None at all,” Syla says. “But when we were all in the control room, I felt emotionally exhausted for a moment before everyone’s panic hit me. That must’ve been him.”

 

Sventi once again wonders what’s going on with his best friend. He feels absolutely powerless and sick with worry.

 

Yeshi must’ve seen the look of anguish on his face, because she says, “He’ll be fine. Trust me.”

 

The certainty of her voice makes him feel a little better.

 

Lienza nods. “Well, anyways, we’ve got work to do. Syla, take Veztsle and Zyke and assess the damage to the right wing. Fix as much from the inside as possible. Yeshi, keep an eye on the systems. I’m going to program the lenses to alert us when one of them is off. We can’t afford another incident. Sventi,” she observes him with her piercing sapphire eyes. “Stay with Talik until he wakes up. Find out why he’s been doing what he did, and convince him to stop and rest. This is an issue only you can fix.”

 

Sventi didn’t need prompting. Everyone leaps into action. Zyke slaps his back consolingly on his way out. He rushes back to the infirmary.

 

Once inside, he pulls a chair over to Talik’s bedside and watches him. He looks so peaceful like this, though tired. This reminds him of the countless sleepovers they had as kids, when they would fall asleep holding hands. Talik would always be the first to drift off, which gave Sventi time to watch the light of Leclexda’s triplet moons bathe him in silver light before slipping into dreams as well. Sventi gently clasps his hand, absentmindedly drawing shapes with his thumb on the back of it. He intertwines their fingers, raising his other hand to gently brush his petal-soft hair out of his face.

 

He’s infuriated at himself. He wants to scream and slam his head against a wall and curse his own stupidity and stubbornness at the top of his lungs. But none of those things will help Talik.

 

“I’m sorry,” Sventi whispers to his unconscious form.

 

He stays like that for what feels like forever, clutching Talik’s hand and apologizing softly under his breath. After a while, he drifts off, head resting on his arm, curled over Talik’s side.

 

He stays with him for an entire day as he continues to sleep, checking his condition every so often out of nervous habit. Zyke brings him food throughout the day, and he falls into a restless sleep again.

 

He wakes up the next morning when Talik groans. Sitting bolt upright, Sventi squeezes his hand, watching as his eyes flutter open.

 

“Tali,” he whispers as their eyes meet. He pulls his friend forwards into a hug.

 

“Urf,” Talik grunts.

 

“How are you feeling?” Sventi asks worriedly, pressing his forehead against his own to check his temperature.

 

He averts his eyes. “Fine. Just tired.”

 

“Thank goodness. You had me really worried there.” Sventi helps him sit up and envelops him in another hug.

 

“Sorry.”

 

They remain like that for some time. It feels like forever, and yet not long enough. But eventually Sventi pulls away and says, heavy with guilt, “No, I’m the one that should be sorry. This is my fault. I should’ve stopped you earlier.” Talik looks down.

 

“It’s not your job to take care of me,” he says, a strange, bitter tone to his voice. “I can handle myself. I’m not a child.”

 

“I know you’re not. But you’re not taking care of yourself. Is it so bad that I want to help you?”

 

“…You have no reason to.”

 

“Yes, I do! Of course I do! How could you say that? You’re my best friend! It hurts to watch you do this to yourself!” The words _best friend_ feel strange in his mouth, inadequate. They don’t come close to expressing how much Talik means to him.

 

“Sventi, drop it. Please,” Talik grits.

 

“No,” Sventi says stubbornly. “I want to help you.” They’re both trying to ignore to tension in the air, he knows, and he’s sick of it. They’re talking, and they’re talking right now. “What were you trying to say when the alarms went off?”

 

Talik visibly tenses. “Nothing.”

 

“You can’t lie to me.”

              

“You don’t need to worry. I’m fine,” he says through gritted teeth, staring resolutely at his clenched fists in his lap. “It was nothing. I needed something to do.”

 

“That’s not it! There’s no reason for you to torture yourself like that just because you’re bored! I know you, Tali. I know you’re not taking care of yourself, and I don’t understand why! Why do you hate yourself?! You’re talented, you’re smart, you’re-”

 

He goes quiet as memories flash through his mind. Talik sleeping peacefully in his lap, bathed in the soft light of the sun on the roof. Talik, frustrated, tearful, and angry at himself as he works beyond his limits. That little heart-stopping smile he gives him when they write songs together. His angelic laugh and the adorable snorts that come with it. The intense glint in his eyes when they spar. The exhilarating rush when they pilot together. The way Talik looked that night near the beginning of the mission, face flushed and heaving for breath, sprawled out between Sventi’s arms. The moments when he’s strong, the moments when he’s not, and everything in between. Billions of memories like stars, swirling past his eyes. He tries to find a word to adequately convey his meaning. Words don’t even begin to cut it, but he can try.

 

“You’re _breathtaking_ ,” he finishes quietly, trying to convey everything Talik is to him.

 

“Don’t,” Talik whispers suddenly, voice shaking. “D-Don’t say that when you don’t mean it.” He sounds small, vulnerable, and absolutely wrecked. Why does he sound so _broken_? He looks up at Sventi, eyes wet, that unidentifiable expression flashing across his face, muddled with anger, fear, and pain.

 

“Don’t do that to me.”

 

Sventi reaches out to touch his face, to wipe away the tears threatening to spill over. “Do what? Tali, what’s going on? You've been off for months, don't think I haven't noticed.”

 

“…I can’t tell you.”

       

“Why not?”

 

“I’ll lose you.”

 

“Tali, there is nothing you could ever say or do to make me leave.”

 

“Yes there is. You don’t know me as well as you think you do.”

 

That should make him angry. How could he not know Talik? He knows him better than he knows himself. But he’s right, at least partially. Maybe he doesn’t know him like he thinks he does. He’s missing a crucial part, probably one that has been there for years. A part that would explain why Talik ran away from him after he woke him up and his avoidance afterwards, would explain the fake smiles and forced laughter, the lingering glances. The averted eyes, the reddening of his face at compliments, the subtle shiver at Sventi’s touch. The nights he’d find him crying quietly into his pillow and hold him and just let him cry. Something to explain him overworking himself over and over, something to explain him staying up late into the night to practice his piloting with no reason to. Earlier tonight, the words he was struggling to say. The emotion that flits just out of sight, always accompanied by pain.

 

He’s distracted for a moment as Talik rubs the heel of his palm into his sternum, like his chest or his heart is aching, a familiar unreadable look in his eyes.

 

_His heart._

 

Maybe Sventi doesn’t think very much, but he’s not completely stupid. Something clicks into place in Sventi’s mind. He gasps. Suddenly, everything fits. The emotion he’d never been able to decipher before is longing. And pain always comes with it. It hits him hard, and the first thing he thinks is _I’ll never let anything hurt him like that again._

 

And suddenly, his own feelings and the weird impulses he’s been having make a lot more sense.

 

_Oh. I’m in love with him._

 

Then, _Wow, I’m an idiot._

 

“Tali, I-”

 

“Stop,” Talik interrupts, getting to his feet abruptly, still a little unstable. “Don’t. I- I don’t want to hear that you’re not- That you don’t- I already know I’m not good enough, that I don’t deserve you, so-”

 

Sventi grabs his arm. “Tali, calm down, I’m not-“

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please don’t hate me,” he says, sounding desperate. He squeezes his eyes shut and teardrops like tiny, flawless diamonds leak out, gleaming against the brown of his skin. “Please, just forget about it, I can’t lose you, everyone else can hate me, but not you, please-“

 

“Don’t apologize, there’s nothing wrong with-“

 

Talik is on the verge of panicking, breath coming far too quickly and eyes shut. Sventi pulls him back down, forcing him to sit. He tries to get back up, but Sventi grabs his hands and holds him there.

 

“I’m sorry, I'm s-so needy all the t-time and I've got so many issues and no one should have to d-deal with me. I know the only reason they p-put me on this mission was because you told them you wouldn’t fly with a different co-pilot to and a-all I ever heard b-back home was people w-wondering why you stick around and catch me e-every time I m-make a mistake and p-pick me back up, or I'm i-insecure, or w-worthless-”

 

“Hey, breathe, okay? Listen to me-“

 

“...I don’t understand,” he whispers, trembling, tears flowing freely down his face. “W-Why can't you just tell me I'm disgusting and walk away? Why don't you hate me? I'm useless, I always screw things up. I couldn't even get the one thing that I always had right, I-”

 

“Talik,” Sventi says sternly, his voice wavering slightly.  “I need you to listen to me for a second. Really listen. Okay? I-I need you to hear this, all of it, and believe it. Listen.” He cups Talik’s face in his hands, his thumbs trailing across his cheeks to wipe away his tears.

 

He nods jerkily out of what Sventi thinks is purely instinct, hiccuping.

 

“You have never- _never_ been worthless. You're the opposite. Maybe other people don't see it, but I do. I know I don't always say it, but my life gets better every day because I get to spend it with you.”

 

Talik trembles, squeezing his eyes shut.

 

“You are so many things – you’re stunning, you're so determined and tough, and I know I call you a crybaby and I tease you a lot, but you're the strongest person I know. You're my best friend, and I care about you more than you'll ever know. You're the most valuable thing in my life. I wouldn't care if we got lost in space forever, as long as you're with me.”

 

He’s shaking his head like he can't believe what he's hearing, his teeth digging into his lip.

 

“It's okay to feel insecure or scared or weak. It doesn't make you any less of a person. Actually, it makes you stronger. You've overcome so many obstacles and things in your way. And you're always growing and surpassing expectations. And I love you so much. Maybe I didn't realize it at first, but I've always loved you, always needed you, and- I know you think you're not enough. I know you're scared that nothing you ever do will be good enough.”

 

Sventi removes one hand from his face, takes Talik’s and squeezes it gently, touching their foreheads together. “How can you not see that you've always been enough for me? You're more than enough. I don't care what anyone else says. I just… I know you might never be happy with yourself, but… I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.”

 

Talik chokes on a sob. He bites his lip again, and Sventi can’t help it. He leans down and kisses him.

 

Fireworks don’t go off, sparks don’t fly, but there’s an overwhelming sense of rightness that makes him feel like this was always meant to happen. Talik’s lips are chapped from biting them. He tastes of tears, but under that he tastes like honey and cloud cakes and something so inherently _Talik_. He feels like he’s coming home even as they’re soaring through the heavens. They kiss slowly, sweetly, and Sventi pours every ounce of love he has for him into it, years and years and years worth. Then something changes. Talik pushes forwards, straddling his lap. Sventi brushes his tongue against the seam of the shorter boy’s mouth in return, asking permission. He complies, submitting to Sventi, who plunges in, exploring every inch of his mouth previously uncharted. He moves one hand into soft pink hair, pulling him into a better angle, while the other moves down to the curve of his slim waist. Talik wraps his arms around his neck and releases a strangled moan into his mouth, a desperate, needy noise that makes his insides coil. He belatedly realizes that he’s running out of air, but Talik is mesmerizing and he never wants this to end. Reluctantly, he pulls away to catch his breath and let the other do the same.

 

He opens his eyes and is greeted with the stunning view of his best friend and his entire universe, pink hair ruffled, a bright flush staining his cheeks, lips bruised and kiss-swollen, glowing in the light of the stars outside. Sventi rests his forehead against Talik’s, the two of them sharing the same air.

 

Talik sniffles. Sventi gathers him in his arms as Talik buries his face into his neck and sobs. He pets Talik's hair gently, feeling the tension melt out of him. He takes a few shuddering breaths and laughs shakily.

 

“...I’m dreaming right?” he asks, voice barely above a whisper. “This is a dream. I’m going to wake up and everything will be normal again, and you'll go on with your life and find s-someone who deserves you.” The end of his sentence is broken by a choked sob.

 

 _I’ve caused him so much pain,_ Sventi realizes with a start. His heart clenches.

 

“Did you not hear everything I just said? I don't want to hear that. It's not true.”

 

“I don't deserve you,” he chokes, and Sventi can feel Talik’s tears wetting his shirt.

 

Sventi looks down at the boy in his arms. “Yes, you do. You deserve everything. And I'll say it as many times as I have to until you believe it,” he says firmly. “I don’t ever want to hear you say that again. You’re amazing, you’re beautiful, and I love you so much. You’re _enough_. And don’t ever doubt that.”

 

Talik sobs brokenly into his shoulder.

 

“Tali,” he says softly, trying to pull his face up. “Tali, look at me.”

 

Talik raises his head, face tear-stained and eyes gleaming.

 

“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs. “I hurt you.”

 

“Don’t apologize.”

 

“But you suffered so much because I was too dense to see-”

 

“Sventi,” Talik whispers, voice cracking with emotion. “You have no idea how long I tried to stop myself from dreaming of you looking at me like that, of _wanting_ me like that-”

 

"I’m so sorry-”

 

“No. Th-This is- God, I would’ve stayed quiet forever, this is more than I could’ve ever asked for.”

 

He smiles, finally genuine after weeks of pretending.

 

Sventi kisses him again, and again, and again and again and again.

 

“I love you,” Talik gasps into his mouth between kisses. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” Sventi chuckles. He sweeps Talik back into his arms, happy to just hold him.

 

A thought occurs to him. “...How long?”

 

“Hmm?” Talik mumbles.

 

"How long have you been in love with me?”

 

“...I don’t know,” he replies. “Forever, probably. But I realized in our second year of pre-academy, the first time someone asked you out.”

 

His breath catches in his throat. “...Pre-academy? But that’s like-”

 

“Yeah, I know. Seven years. Pretty pathetic, huh.”

 

He squeezes Talik closer to his chest, nuzzling his face into his soft pink hair and trying very hard not to cry.

 

_He bottled all that up for seven years._

 

Sventi gazes down at Talik, holding him at arm’s length to look at his face. “Tali, why- why didn’t you tell me? You can’t keep stuff like that in for that long!” he scolds through the lump in his throat.

 

“I was afraid,” he answers. “You’re everything to me. I didn't even let myself hope. I couldn't risk losing you. But I felt so helpless. And- God, everything I've ever done-” he laughs weakly. “Everything I've ever done has always been for you.”

 

Sventi freezes. “...What?”

 

“I just- I took an interest in space exploration at first because you were so excited about the stars. I didn’t realize it at the time, and I grew to love it anyway, but it was originally because of you. I-I kept writing music because you were there to encourage me. Hell, every song I've ever written has been for you,” Talik says, scrubbing a hand over his face to wipe away the tears. Sventi's breath hitches, because this beautiful, hard working, _amazing_ person is in his arms.

 

“I couldn't just… Throw that away. I didn’t want to make things uncomfortable between us. I thought you deserved better. It hurt to tell myself I had to get over you, but you were- no, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I didn’t want to ruin it.”

 

Sventi frowns. “You're my best friend, the person who's the most important to me out of anyone in the universe, the one I want to spend every minute of my life with. Did you ever even consider the fact that I might like to know that I could have everything with you? That I might love you back?”

 

He looks embarrassed. “You’re making _me_ sound like the oblivious one."

 

Sventi laughs, before switching back to a more serious tone. “Really though, Tali, keeping a secret for that long, especially one that big, is unhealthy.”

 

“I managed pretty well for a while,” he defends. “Besides, I didn’t keep it a secret from _everyone_. I told Syla during our mission prep year, and the rest of the crew knows by now. Well, I didn’t really tell her, she figured it out herself. You know, the whole emotion-sensing thing…”

 

“What’d she say?”

 

He looks embarrassed again. “...She told me I was an idiot and that you felt the same. And she told me to get my shit together, because she didn’t want to deal with ‘disgustingly mushy mutual pining from the two of you’.”

 

“Oh my god, and you were _still_ convinced that I would reject you?” Sventi asks in disbelief, amusement lacing his voice.

 

“Sh-Shut up! I was afraid, okay? And really insecure!”

 

Sventi chuckles fondly. “Don’t worry, at least you weren’t completely oblivious. I didn’t realize that was what I was feeling until I figured out you were in love with me. I can’t believe I didn’t realize sooner. In retrospect, we were both pretty obvious.”

 

“Wait, so you practically made out with me five minutes after you realized you loved me?!” Talik questions indignantly.

 

“...Yes?”

 

He throws his hands into the air. “You’re such a moron!”

 

“Can you blame me? Even when you’re crying and upset, you’re gorgeous.”

 

“And a sadist,” Talik mutters, his ears turning pink.

 

Sventi ignores him. “And you were saying all those terrible things about yourself, and I wanted you to stop! Besides, didn’t we pass the ‘get-to-know-you’ stage like, eons ago? We’ve known each other for pretty much our entire lives, so I thought I’d just cut to the chase.,” Sventi says defensively. “Also you were biting your lip and it was really distracting.”

 

Talik puts his head in his hands and groans. “I’m in love with an idiot.”

 

Sventi winks at him cheekily. “An extremely attractive idiot with a six-pack!”

 

To Sventi’s surprise, instead of a sharp retort, all he gets is Talik attempting to join the tomato family. He bursts out laughing.

 

The pink-haired tomato yells, “Sh-Shut up! Just because I appreciate your abs and your legs and your arms-” Sventi laughs even harder. Talik shoves at his shoulder, knocking him over.

 

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry, you’re just too cute when you blush!”

 

Talik pouts and crosses his arms, resolutely looking at the door.

 

“Aww, c’mon Tali, you know you love me!”

 

He gives up fairly quickly. “...Fine.”

 

Sventi grins mischievously. “Besides, I already know you like my muscles. I’ve seen you ogling me whenever I work out.”

 

Talik jumps up, face flaming, and dashes out the door.

 

And if he bursts into the common room with a chortling Sventi on his tail, red-faced and sputtering, interrupting the rest of the crew’s somber-toned discussion, well, that’s not his fault, is it?

 

\---

 

Strangely, their relationship doesn’t change much once they start dating (well, as much as you can date someone while on a spaceship in a wormhole – there’s not many locations for dates). They still bicker, bantering back and forth like they always did. They still know each other inside and out. But at the same time, they’re different. Talik smiles a lot more. He opens up and stops hiding. Sventi is even more tactile than before and lets himself stare unabashedly. They’re even more synchronized than they were before, having no secrets between them anymore.

 

They’re still not perfect. They still have disagreements, still have the ups and downs a relationship is bound to have. Talik still gets scared, Sventi still worries. But Sventi shows Talik how to love himself, and neither of them ever look back.

 


End file.
